Author Topic: An IAD Christmas Carol  (Read 10385 times)

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NicKramer

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2014, 11:01:33 am »
 :droopy: Pardon me, but can we give the H-B bashing a rest?  They weren't the ones that did that crossover special Daffy was in.  I should know, I was at that same studio.

 :buzzy: Fine, but it just happens that the next special guest was at Filmation.  Anyway, back at Daffy's House....

(Daffy spring out of his bed)

 :daffy:  Yow!  I really need to stop eating before going to bed.  That or take a break from watching my old Boomerang tapes. 

(starts hearing someone humming "The Masters of the Universe" theme beautifully in the other room.)

 :daffy: What the- I thought my bleak television dream was over.  Who's singing that toy selling theme song?

 :buzzy: Daffy goes to the other room and in front of his eyes, he sees a large feast set on a large dinning table at the end of the table sits a lovely warrior.

(She-Ra is seen eating a small bowl of greek yogurt while polishing her sword.)

She-Ra:  So this is the sticky milk substance my mother told me about.  I should take a case of this home back in Ethera.

 :daffy:  Wait, you're supposed to be the spirt of Christmas Present?!

She-Ra:  Indeed I am, fine duck with feathers of eboney.

 :daffy:  But you're supposed to represent the present.  You're not well-known these day and your recent action figures are barely marketed.  Besides, you already had a Chirstmas special (and a lousy one at that).

 She-Ra:  Hush, duck of crankyness.  I'm only doing this for a friend.

 :daffy:  Enough with the titles.  Call me Daffy, will ya?

She-Ra:  Alright, Daffy.  Now I'm here to presuade you to give your friends another Holiday party.  Wouldn't you want your friends to have a mighty feast as your eyes behold?

 :daffy:  Not if you're the one that's spending on this.  I don't even get payed by Warners as much as I used to. 

{Daffy notices a roast poultry}

 :daffy:  Say, what's this cooked bird you have here?

She-Ra:  That's Roasted Desert Roc, I believe that the Etherian equivalent of what you have here as Roast Anas Platyrynchos.

 :daffy:  Is that so?  I should have that-WAIT A MINUTE!  Anas Playrynchos is the scientific name for duck!  Do you expect to convince me to have a party by serving my own relatives to my guests?!

She-Ra:  Oh.  I apologize.  I'm only trying to help.

 :daffy:  Well, you're only helping on making my decison easier on not doing a party.  Give me another suggestion on why I should throw a party.

She-Ra:  Well, it would be a good place to meet pretty girls like myself.

 :daffy:  Except for the fact there're hardly any pretty girls in my party.  Although, if you want to come, I wouldn't mind.  Heck, I wish I did a crossover special with you instead of those monsters.  Matter of fact, {jumps on She-Ra's lap}  What's say we go in the other room and "discuss" this over.

(She-Ra drops Daffy)

She-Ra: {quickly}  Sword to rope!

{Her sword turn into a rope that ties Daffy up tightly.}

 :daffy: Ulp.. or not..

She-Ra:  I have my limits.  'Tis best I show you what your friend's think of your desision.  Come now.  I don't have much time.  I don't want to miss my own party back at Eternia.  It's me and my brother's birthday today.

 :daffy:  With the way you been treating me right now, don't expect me to even send you a card.

{Both She-Ra and Daffy dissapear out of the room.}


« Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 11:08:58 am by NicKramer »

ParamountCartoons

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2014, 11:19:06 am »
She-Ra: But I have to warn you, terrible things have happened, look inside my magic tube TV.......

 :buzzy: Something strange has happened since  :daffy: kicked everyone out of the mansion.


 :bugs2: Man, I wish the holidays over. Just have to put mistletoe for hope and love

 A weird  :bugs: has popped in......

 :bugs: Guess who's going to be the date under the mistletoe? Mwhcha-mwcha-mwcha

 :bugs2: YUCK! I only date the oppisite, these rumors have been PERSONIFIED! I only kiss my foes to annoy them!

 :bugs: My favorite color is rainbow!

 :bugs2: Enough!

 :bugs: Will you marry me?

 :bugs2: AHHHH!

 :buzzy: And so  :bugs2: and, sigh,  :bugs: chased each other!

 :daffy: No spirits keep him normal!

She-Ra: Only if you invite everybody!

 :daffy: Forget it,  :bugs2: will have  :bugs: run away!


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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2014, 11:55:54 am »
She-Ra: And  look what happened to the poor Dogfather.......


Dogfather holds a sign saying- "Cold, Hungry,Need Place To Live"


 :daffy: Well why didn't he go to the government office for a home........


She-Ra: It ain't that easy these days.........

 :daffy: Well why didn't  :pink: help him?  :pink: is  DFE's mascot why not help an employee?

She-Ra: Because it reminded him of the 1993 reboot where he talked, and it make the Dogfather looked like a terrible 90s H-B ripoff of Ren and Stimpy!


 :daffy: Forget it, I'm only donating to WBGO to keep their wonderful jazz music help me give some holiday relaxation!


She-Ra: (Sigh) You mean KTPB-FM, which is Toontown's NPR station that plays jazz.

 :daffy: Uhh....yeah! They're having a Christmas smooth jazz block to help me put me to sleep, because I have only one pill left to help me sleep for the winter!


She-Ra: Don't say I didn't warn you, you will be also be visited by the Spirit of Christmas Next Year.............


Whatever.............

Door closes,  :daffy: falls  asleep....


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Quick scene
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2014, 12:12:31 pm »
....only for the Dogfather to start knocking on :bugs2:'s mansion's door. The security system goes off and zaps a laser at the Dogfather!

:daffy: (out the window): That's what happens when you try to enter, bub!

Dogfather: Ohhhhhh............

I walk by, and notice the Dogfather on the doorstep dying!!

Me: *gasp* Dogfather!!! *going over* Oh, what did :daffy: do to you?....

But the security system starts trying to laser me!

Me: Aah! *run off*

:daffy: (once again out the window): I'm not letting anybody help ANYONE who tries to break in, especially not YOU, you abusive shroom!! Let the Dogfather's corpse rot on the doorstep for all I care!!

Once again, I burst into tears and run off crying my eyes out.... :'(

:daffy:: Pah!! By the time Christmas is over, she'll probably have sobbed a whole ice rink.

NOTE: I would prefer that Christmas Future not be moved into now. There's still a lot of time and a lot of details....

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #19 on: December 09, 2014, 01:14:18 pm »
 :daffy: He's getting up, come on........

A large slingshot flies The Dogfather into a mysterious place.


 :daffy: Toadette, you're no Felix Salten, so let me take my hibernation. *Yawn* I work for WB where no cartoon character is killed.

 :buzzy: And so he was given an early Christmas present to move on with the story.....

 :daffy: To Daffy, From Chip and Dale......ahh, more hibernation pills to keep those spirits away.....

 :buzzy: Daffy then took a dosage and a glass of water to gulp it down.

*"The Bored Cuckoo" arrangement of Bhrahm's Lullaby plays as  :daffy: gets ready for bed*

 :daffy: falls asleep.


Writer's Note: Toadette, you can show the Dogfather's "tomb" when we get to the Ghost of Christmas future later this month....
« Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 01:17:03 pm by ParamountCartoons »

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Double-Hared Love: Gag #1
« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2014, 06:03:45 pm »
I'm feeling better now, mainly because I know it'll all turn out happily....in the end, that is. ;) Anyways, :bugs: has chased :bugs2: all the way back to :bugs2:'s mansion. :bugs2: uses his remote control to disable :daffy:'s security system and enter.....unfortunately, however, :bugs: is able to follow him in before it can be turned on again! So :bugs2: first hides in the closet.

:bugs2: (panting): Of course you realise, this means war!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First, :bugs2: stands in the living room, holding out a mistletoe while calling out towards :bugs: on the couch.

:bugs2:: Yoo-hoo! Over here, me love-of-my-life! Come over while the mistletoe is hot!

:bugs:, in lust, rushes over and embraces :bugs2: passionately!

:bugs:: Pucker up, :bugs2:-y dear!

Before :bugs: can kiss :bugs2: on the lips, however, :bugs2: is holding a cut wire, connected on the other side to his carrot juicer.

With a typical Chuck Jones "eyebrows-up-and-down", he sticks the wire onto :bugs:'s puckered lips, causing a giant electric shock! :bugs: is left severely charred and wrinkled and ruffled while :bugs2: steps out of his embrace. And his carrot juicer has just made a good glass of carrot juice!


:bugs: (quite ecstatic): Wow, who ever thought your kisses were so charged with power!? Such shocking passion!! *collapses*

Note: I intend that these gags will go on for the next few days or so. :daffy: currently has earmuffs, so he can't hear the commotion.

By the way, I would like to congratulate Michael Barrier on finally getting Funnybooks released in print! Here's a review from Thad Komorowski.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2014, 06:06:42 pm by Toadette »

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Double-Hared Love: Gag #2
« Reply #21 on: December 11, 2014, 11:34:40 am »
In the kitchen, :bugs2: is drinking his glass of carrot juice. In the living room, :bugs: has come to......and again charges towards :bugs2:!

As the music builds up as :bugs: keeps charging, :bugs2: prepares a safe to be dropped, tying the rope to a nail in the ground. The scene cuts back and forth between :bugs:, charging lustily with excited music, and :bugs2:, making calculations while the music is relatively calm.

Finally, :bugs2: cuts the rope, whereby the safe starts falling to the WB falling sound. Ultimately, the safe lands right on :bugs:'s foot!


:bugs:: YEEAAAOOOOWWWW!!!!!! *takes his flat foot out* What was that about!? I could've been seriously concussed! :mad:

:bugs2:: Eh, hate to disappoint you, doc, but uh.....

:bugs2: slams his empty glass of juice onto :bugs:'s head! :bugs:, making a goofy expression, falls over.

:bugs: (getting up temporarily): You know, love hurts. But that's what makes it so wonderful! *collapse again*

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Double-Hared Love: Gag #3
« Reply #22 on: December 12, 2014, 07:06:53 pm »
WARNING: This one could be a bit controversial.

:bugs: is laying on the living room couch with a bunch of bandages on his head.


:bugs:: I didn't want to do this....but :bugs2: leaves me no other choice!

He takes out a potion with some pink liquid and drinks it, whereupon he becomes a good-lookin' female rabbit!

:bugs2: comes into the room and bugs his eyes out!


:bugs2: (zipping over and embracing the :bugs: female): Oh, Daisy, you've returned from Forest Lawn!! To think that Lola ran you over with a parade float!!

:bugs2: starts really smooching the fake female!

:bugs: (trying to get :bugs2: off): Oooh, ooh, get off!! *at the fourth wall* It's only fun when I do the kissing!

So as :bugs2: continues kissing him/her, :bugs: takes out an arrow and jams it into :bugs2:'s rear!

:bugs2: (who is sent flying up): YIIIPE!!!!!

:bugs: runs off, takes out an antidote (and drinks it) to turn back to his creepy self, and takes out a female rabbit-looking decoy that is actually a lot of dynamite. He throws the decoy into the kitchen.

:bugs2: (zipping up with hearts in his eyes): I've been struck by Cupid's arrow! *grabbing :bugs: and shaking him* Where is she!?

:bugs:: *points into the kitchen*

:bugs2: zips in!

:bugs:: The moment he kisses that, kaBOOM! And then he's all mine.

He covers his ears while :bugs2: is heard smooching. No kaBOOM is heard or felt, though, and after a while :bugs: uncovers his ears, wondering why the decoy hasn't gone off yet.

Then :bugs2: pops out of the kitchen.

:bugs2:: Eh, looks like she's dead again, doc. You can have her corpse, if you want! *throws the decoy at :bugs: and zips off*

:bugs: registers a take! Then, his eyeballs peering side-to-side, he gets in an amorous position....

:bugs:: I love you, baby.....

....and just as their lips meet....you can probably guess what happens next.

:bugs: (all charred up and woozy again, with pieces and springs of the decoy on and around him): Well, it's not often that your wife explodes with joy, anyways. *collapse*

The final gag will be tomorrow.

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Double-Hared Love: Final Gag
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2014, 11:23:28 pm »
:bugs2:: is checking on :daffy:, still sound asleep.

:bugs2:: Eh, maybe when he wakes up he'll probably like these parties again!

As he closes the door, however, he looks behind to find :bugs: on his knees and begging and sobbing!

:bugs:: Oh, pleaaaaase!!! Just one kiss! I'm a poor old wretch from Lower Wretchnya with no love!

:bugs2:: Okay, okay, doc! *in singsong* But you're going to have to play hard-to-get! *zip out of the house*

:bugs: runs down the stairs. Looking outside the house, he sees :bugs2: on the other side of the road.

:bugs2:: Hey! I promise I won't move from this very spot!

He takes out a large bottle of super-glue, spills it all over the ground, and steps on the puddle just as it dries.

:bugs2:: Just come over! But do it like in those romantic films where the lover runs over in slow-motion!

:bugs:: Well, okay!

So :bugs: starts running in slow-motion. But then the the security system goes off and zaps a laser at him!

:bugs: (charred again and walking around woozily): Well, I think I should go over here....

But he steps on a switch that causes a mechanical hand to come out and mallet him!

:bugs:: Maybe on the other side..... *stepping on another switch*

...whereupon a boulder falls on him!

:bugs: (coming out from under): I sure could use some pie!

And he steps on a security laser that causes a fast ferris wheel of pies to come out and pie him over and over again!

Meanwhile, :bugs2: is using the phone on a nearby telephone pole.

:bugs2:: Hello, ACME? Do you have any Christmas lights?

While :bugs: is being seriously humiliated....

:bugs: (quite weary): Oh boy! At this point the only thing that could make this worse is....

....and the ground under him explodes!

:bugs: (very charred): .....a landmine.

Falling over, he ends up having to crawl over to :bugs2:.

:bugs: (weary): Well....time to pucker up!

...and a car runs him over! It parks, gives :bugs2: a package of Christmas lights, and drives off. :bugs: gets up.

:bugs:: Oh.....where am I? And who am I?

:bugs2:: Eh, you're a Christmas tree, doc! And I have the Christmas lights ready to be wrapped around you!

Fade to :bugs: at the front of the mansion, with all the lights wrapped around him, with a pretty star on top of his ears. :bugs2: plugs in the lights, and they all light up!

:bugs: (quite content): Well, I guess being a Christmas tree isn't so bad if it means I can light up the hearts of people everywhere!

Iris-out.

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Promo for the Valentine's Day story
« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2014, 06:17:20 pm »
In Videoville, , , and I have finished decorating the outside of 's castle with a bunch of Christmas lights. With a front view, on the left side is the :bugs: Christmas tree; :bugs2: decided to give it to me because it was creeping out passerbys at :bugs2:'s mansion. (Perhaps if :daffy: wasn't sleeping, he would've demanded that :bugs2: keep it in order to further discourage guests.) On the right is a large wood-carved Nativity scene.

Me: Well, we might be banned from :bugs2:'s mansion, but an enclave of Christmas cheer remains here!

: I heard that the Jellystone party has degraded into chaos, and Yogi is now on a homicidal motor scooter rampage against the guests. I feel sorry for him; still, :bugs2: never went that far.

: Actually, he did chainsaw the Famous Bouncing Ball during the Halloween madness. But no one except maybe this story's supervisor really liked that ball anyways.

Me: Well, I guess it's time to satisfy our palatals with a bunch of sugary Christmas cookies now! And isn't Toadsworth coming to visit? Come to introspect of it, how did he come about?

: Well, at the risk of further revisionism and violation of Nintendic explanations, I will say that he was the leader of that first Toadish colony that had in it. He has been a valuable assistant ever since, and he was your godfather, Toadette.

Me: I guess I have two godfathers, then! The other one being poor old Dogfather......*sigh* :'(

: I actually found him earlier today in Videoville's tunket-sewers. He was suffering severe internal bleeding in his avunculars, joculars, and carbunculars. I've taken him into the castle......but sadly, I don't think he has much time left......

Me: Oh mother.....the world is such a cruel place. *sniff*

: Let us not worry at this time, my spore-sister. He's still alive for now! Besides, the birthday of our Saviour is coming up!

Me (wiping tears): You're right, Toad. Let's go see the Dogfather and cheer him up!

At that moment, however, the Japanese Beetle flies into and hides inside the Nativity scene!

I come over and poke him slightly with a finger.

Japanese Beetle (jumping out visibly scared): YIIIIPE!! Oh, it's just you, Toadette.

Me: How are you doing with those Cupid arrows I gave you to rehearse for the Valentine's Day party next year?

Japanese Beetle: Vely bad news. I accidentarry shot Brue Racer, and now he is chasing me....with rust!

And it just so happens that the Blue Racer is zooming up in the distance at that very moment.....and hearts are flying up from wherever he is!

Blue Racer: I'm coming for you, my love-beetle!

Japanese Beetle: Werr, I'm off. And to arr you leadels, be sure to join us fol Varentine's Day special on January 13th, on new IAD Folums! Sayonaraaaaaaa! *zip off*

The Japanese Beetle and the Blue Racer go off into the distance.

Me: By the way, ParamountCartoons, I have a big musical sequence planned for tomorrow. Once I post that, you can move into Christmas Future. ;)

The Dogfather/Toadette

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A Wordplayer's Christmas Medley
« Reply #25 on: December 16, 2014, 01:58:18 pm »
, , and I enter the room in the castle where the Dogfather is hospitalised. He seems in a coma right now. and I each hold one of his hands.

Me: Dogfather.....I know that you aren't in good shape right now. And I know that most people do not like you, and wish you dead. But Toad and I, and Princess Peach....we care. Even if only for us, please live.

: We've created a mixture of Christmas songs, to cheer you up. I know that you won't really be able to respond, but your senses still work.....we really hope you like it. Take it away, Toadette!

Just a note: The whole musical sequence below will use the instrumentation and key (B major) of the Carpenters' cover of "Sleigh Ride".

Me (to the slow opening of said cover):
Just hear those sleigh bells jing-a-ling, ring-a-ding picnic baskets sing
We'll watch that obscure "Goldilocks" special featuring Bing
Outside the forums are falling and Blue Racer's calling "Yoo-hoo!"
Come on, it's lovingly better when a dolly that laughs and cries.....coos!

The instrumental bridge that speeds up the song plays as and I scramble out of the room and bring in a black background against which we fade in with colored spotlights.

(to the tune of "This Christmas"):
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rocks,
Jingle bell locks and jingle bell pox
Smock-frocks, too
This Christmas!

Me (still to the tune):
Goombas roasting in a winter wonderland
Missile-toes walking on an open fire
What a quagmire!
This Christmas!

(to the tune of "Up on the Housetop"):
Up on the housetop, reindeer paws
Out jumps bad old Stalker Claus
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake
He'll stalk you into a freezing lake

Me (to the tune of "Deck the Halls"):
Oh, by gosh, by golly-holly
Have a holly-jolly Christmastime!
Don't be frosty like "jolly" Frosty
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

and I (back to the tune of "Sleigh Ride"):
Giddyap! Giddyap! Giddyap! Let's go!
Let's go to the lane!
The snow is glistening and listening sane!

:
Giddyap! Giddyap! Giddyap! It's grand!
It's a Grand Old Nag!

Me (still in tune):
What would Clampett think if-he-found-out-that we mentioned his last car-Toon?

and I:
Just hear those children laughing and people passing the Rue
Fancy ties and Toadsworth's pies and folks stealin' a kiss or two
Ho-ho the tasty pheasants are hung where you can see
Some breast meat waits for you....gizzard ones for me!


Cue the instrumental break that transitions to the next part of the song. It is at this point that Toadsworth enters.

Toadsworth:
There's a Christmas party at the home of faraway
It'll be the perfect ending of this Carol today!

Me:
But we have to make this story last until....the 25th comes by!
Lest Luke send a rebuking PM with a bombshellberry pie!
Stop-stop-stop!

:
You should torture :daffy: when the Future ghost comes by!
Tell him, "Let some parties happen at :bugs2:'s mansion or die!"


Me:
Sergei Prokudin-Gorskii took some wonderful pictures of the past


, Toadsworth and I:
These wonderful things are the things we'll remember all through our last!


Me (in sync with the two-note fanfare that changes the song to C-major): Our LAST!? *shrug*

, Toadsworth and I:
Just hear those jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle jingle all the way
Maybe we'll get a visit from the ghost of Winsor McCay
Do Band-Aid singers know.....adarnthing 'bout Ethiopi-a-a-a-a-a!?
Come on, let's tape their mouths with....some band-aids from....our cornuco-pia!

The song goes through its final instrumental with us three Toads dancing, with me doing the "Ba-da-da-da-da!" When the song ends, the black background (and spotlights) fade back to the background of the Dogfather's room in the castle.


Me: Well, Dogfather, it's time for us to go now. I hope you get well soon.......if you ever get well, that is. *sniff*

: Oh, Toadette, don't be that way! When I said he didn't have much time left earlier, I was only thinking it. Now come, the Dogfather needs to keep resting in peace....I mean, quiet!

, , and Toadsworth leave. But I remain.

Me: Don't worry, Dogfather. I swear, by my courage, honor, and verity, that I will write such that :daffy: WILL realise the errors of his ways! And then you will live once more......

I walk out of the room and close the door behind me.

Me: All right, Luke, let's get Christmas Future started!

The Dogfather/Toadette

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The final chapter begins
« Reply #26 on: December 17, 2014, 07:09:07 pm »
:daffy: remains sound asleep with his earmuffs.....but they begin to glow. Slowly, they float up, eventually taking the form of a strange spirit.....

Yet it has no tangible form. Unceasingly it constantly shifts, morphing, melting, changing shape, without any want or reason, passing off an eerie aura......


:daffy: (waking up): So, you're the Ghost of Christmas Future, eh? Well, know this, bub: nothing you do or show me will make me change my stance! There will be NO more parties, and that's final!

And it is then that :daffy:'s surroundings start melting all around him. All form has been thrown out the window, all sense has become nonsense, the world around :daffy: is falling apart!

:daffy:: Spirit!! What is this torment that you are inflicting upon me!? I beseech of you, make it STOP!! Please!

The world starts to spin around, and :daffy:, in unmitigated horror, gets down and covers his eyes!

For a long time, :daffy: lays there, eyes blacked out, not wishing to know what horror his eyes will behold if he lets them see again. But finding that all is silent, he uncovers them....to find himself seemingly back in his bedroom. Yet something does not quite feel right; there are cobwebs everywhere, cracks in the walls, even the foundation feels shaky.


:daffy:: What's going on here?

Uncovering his windows, he finds that he is in his room in the middle of a desolate wasteland. The sky is a sickly fecal brown, with smoky clouds and skeleton birds, and what were once the other houses on the street with :bugs2:'s mansion are now almost corpses in their ruin and wreckage. The overall picture looks dead, with the red-hued ground, and the streets all look ruined, buried in potholes and lumps and cracks. Most shockingly, however, toon body parts litter the entire scene!!

:daffy:: Is this what Christmas future is going to look like? *gulp with horrified look at the screen, only to reassure himself* Nah! It's probably just some dream.

So he goes back to his bed and lays down again. And he starts dreaming that he's won a Golden Duck award, like on the cover of "Chuck Reducks"......But he suddenly sticks up with a wide-eyed scare-take!

:daffy:: How can I be dreaming if I'm already in a dream!? *zipping off, then speeding down the stairs* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS!!!!!!!!!

And at that moment, :bugs2: happens to be waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a custard pie, which :daffy: runs right into!

:bugs2:: Eh, *carrot-chomping* what's up, doc?

:daffy:: Something's very wrong here, :bugs2:-y ol' pal! There's toon parts everywhere and the birds are skeletons and—

:bugs2:: Eh, sounds like you need a tour, doc! I'll be guiding you through Christmas future. *to the fourth wall* Toadette appointed me to be :daffy:'s guide through this part of the story. And what he doesn't know yet is that he's a ghost right now.....that's right, he's dead in this future! Ee-hee-hee-hee-hee! All for bringing these parties back, of course.

The Dogfather/Toadette

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The Christmas Eve apocalypse
« Reply #27 on: December 19, 2014, 05:46:01 pm »
:daffy:: All right, so first, I demand to know what's up with this dystopian setting!

:bugs2:: Well, let's take a stroll outside.

Fade to an atmospheric long shot of :bugs2: and :daffy: walking on a curved crack-filled road. On the sides are various glove-flowers and dead trees; on the branch of one of the latter is :buzzy: sitting depressed.

:buzzy:: I know I'm supposed to be narrating and all, but Toadette fired me, telling me about how she'd rather approach these parties as if they were actual animation with the readers visualizing through the descriptions. Honestly, these "artiste" types just ruffle my feathers!

:daffy:: How did Toontown get this way in only a year? Did the Sailor Scouts get angry at being banned from the story and wreak destruction on everything? Or did Word War III come and destroy the toons' speech and spelling conventions?

:bugs2:: Do you remember how, way back on the 30th when this madness got started, the toons decided to party at Jellystone? See, Yogi started to descend into madness due to lack of hibernation.......and eventually, on Christmas Eve, after :jerry: started a giant forest fire, Yogi finally lost it.

Fade to a blurry close-up of a live-action forest fire in the dark that becomes clearer as it zooms out. Then cue striking stills (from different angles and shots) of Yogi gruesomely running (or about to run) various toons over (including Ranger Smith and Boo-Boo!) with a motor scooter in the fire-lit scene, one after the other, while tense, dramatic music plays.

:bugs2:: He wanted revenge for how the fire was destroying Jellystone. So he chased everybody into Toontown..........and soon enough, since many of the toons were themselves on fire, all Toontown, including the Land of Commercialized Christmas Insanity, the Pinscreen Pavillion, Tokyo Toontown, the 90s Silver Age Borough, the European district, and the 70s Cartoon Wasteland, was in flames.

Nearly all the toons, including Yogi, except for you and me and a few others, perished. The strength of the fire was such that their body parts are preserved to this day, scattered all over Toontown, and the heavy amount of smoke covered up Toontown's sky. The soil was left rotten, hardened, and infertile. All the birds that used to fly over Toontown were reduced to flying skeletons. The "few others" who survived sought refuge in Videoville, and they were all put in the room of Princess Peach's castle that the Dogfather was in. They eventually died from PTSD......and today, :buzzy: and I are the only survivors.

:daffy:: Wait....but what about me!? You don't mean......

:bugs2:: Hold on! That's irrelevant....for now. (The graveyard scene will be in a few days.) And take a look at this.

:bugs2: holds up a pill container, labelled "Michael Barrier's Barium Pills".

:daffy:: WHAT!?

:bugs2:: The widespread destruction of animation reduced historians like Mike Barrier to almost nothing. They were forced to take on embarrassing jobs.....indeed, Thad Komorowski ended up being fired from WBGO.

I hope I've already convinced you of the importance of you and me holding these parties. If the toons can't party at my mansion, they'll find somewhere else to party and cause destruction. And in the case of Christmas present.....everything and everybody was destroyed because of Yogi's madness and the big Jellystone forest fire. My mansion doesn't have forests to cause a big fire, and I do believe I've shown how tolerant I can be, what with multiple brawls and house-wreckings!

:daffy:: Now wait just a darn minute, :bugs2:! Hasn't Toontown been through worse things than a big forest fire!? There was the Great Pumpkin from earlier this year....and don't even get me started on the time in which everybody except :gandy: died from random nuclear bombs going off! Yet we all came back to life after that, didn't we!? And animation historians weren't so affected by those events, were they? Sorry, :bugs2:, but this whole Christmas scenario rests on flimsy foundations!
« Last Edit: December 19, 2014, 05:58:47 pm by Toadette »

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Orphanage woes
« Reply #28 on: December 21, 2014, 07:46:11 pm »
:bugs2:: :daffy:, if you won't be convinced by what I have shown you, then I have no choice but to show you something that will break that cold heart of yours.

With that, the background fades to the back of 's castle in Videoville, which is in a state of great dilapidation. One of the castle spires is missing, there are cracks and holes everywhere, etc. The sign on top of the back door says "Princess Peach's Orphanage."

:daffy:: What is this, :bugs2:? Since when did Peach run an orphanage? I didn't think video games had orphans!

:bugs2:: I know no one's ever mentioned this before......but Videoville is a popular abandonment spot.

:daffy:: Wait......you don't mean....

:bugs2:: On occasion, there's a human baby or child left to die out on the streets of Videoville. It could be that the parents can't afford a baby; or the child is deformed in some terrible way, and the parents don't want to see it; or the child is close to death, and....

:daffy:: STOP, :bugs2:!! Just thinking about it is painful!

:bugs2:: Anyways, and Toad and Toadette look around for these abandoned children, if any, and take them to the back of the castle. They always care for them secretly, such that almost no other video game characters notice that they're in the castle. Now let's take a look at how things have changed since last year...

:bugs2: opens the back door to find me (in my Captain Toad outfit) tearfully begging at !

Me (sobbing): Oh, please!! You can't just leave these poor orphans to starve, especially not on Christmas Eve! Our funds are running out!! Please, can't you spare even ONE container of food for free!?

: Sorry, Toadette. But my supermarket doesn't hand out food for free. Besides.....Videoville is not for humans. *spit*

:bugs2: and :daffy: step aside as leaves.

:daffy:: Wait....how did this orphanage survive before? Why is the money running out now!?

:bugs2:: What you never realised, :daffy:, was that for every year in which I held at least one party, the Toontown government donated $200,000 to Peach's orphanage. And ever since you pulled the plug, the orphanage has had to rely on money right out of the Royal Treasury, not to mention Toadsworth's generous contributions, and food right out of the castle cookery...no video game character wants to donate. And now there is no money left, and the cookery is all out of ingredients....soon, the castle itself may have to be mortgaged, and , , Toadette, and all the orphans will have nowhere to go. No place to live, having to rely on the mercy of other video game characters. And believe me, most video game characters are notoriously stingy.......even and the other Toads don't give a darn about whether or not Peach is a princess. Toadsworth is the main exception, of course, but he, like Peach, has spent all his money trying to keep the orphanage up.

:daffy:: Hold the phone!! Everything about this just rings false. You're telling me that in Christmas future, all Toontown has died from some Jellystone forest fire in the present, animation historians have lost their jobs, and NOW and the two Toads are about to lose their home because they're devoted to a bunch of orphans!? And all this is because I ended the parties!?

:bugs2:: It just goes to show that the world is a cruel place, :daffy:. Think about it: you have here three video game characters who care more about abandoned children than their own home. And if you think this is false.....well, let us go into this orphanage ourselves.

:bugs2: and :daffy: enter. Now they see , , and me.

Me: It's no use......he didn't want to give us any more. *sniff*

(also in his Captain Toad outfit): But we can't feed 52 children, not to mention ourselves, with only one can of soup and two bottles of milk! Are you.....sure there isn't any food left in our kitchen...?

: I'm afraid this is all that we—and the orphans—have left.

, , and I enter the main room, with :bugs2: and :daffy: following.....and what a depressing sight.

All the babies and children are in live-action.....there are some children who have only one eye.

Some of them have cancer.

An unlucky few are lepers.

Some have unfocused eyes.

Others are deformed.

A substantial amount of children are fatigued.

All of them are innocent, but starving. Yet many of them are happy; the older children are singing Christmas carols.


and I deal with the fifteen infants using the two bottles of milk. We only let the babies take a quick drink, then we must take our bottles away. The babies wail, but we have no choice; there are others who must be fed. For the last baby, Toad and I each have only half the amount that was fed to each of the other babies; this adds up to a whole, naturally, so Toad and I give our bottles to that last baby.

, meanwhile, boils the soup. Taking paper bowls, she puts only a spoonful in each one, and and I pass them out to the remaining thirty-seven children. Despite the small amount, many of the children sip their soup with great gusto; for the really small children, and I have to feed the soup.

Nothing has been reserved for the three of us.


Me: I only wish we were able to give them more. :'(

A cuckoo clock on the wall starts cuckoo-ing in eleven-thirty.

: It's time to sleep, everybody! Off to your rooms....

and I carry the babies off to their cribs, while helps those children who cannot go over to their rooms on their own. Meanwhile, :daffy: has been reduced to tears.

:daffy: (sobbing): Oh, why!? Why must the world be so cruel towards the unfortunate children!?

:bugs2:: It's not over yet, :daffy:. Let's see how the children sleep....

A choral rendition of Silent Night starts to play as a montage of , , and I putting the children to sleep is cued. The scenes are shot from various different angles, with closeups of the children being particularly notable. At one point, there is this touching scene:

A young girl (who I am tucking in): Toadette, will I get a present tomorrow?

Me: I hope so, Cindy Lou. Please.......sleep well. *smile melancholily and kiss*

:daffy: is looking into the room tearfully. The montage continues until the song ends.

Fade to Toadsworth entering as sings (with the Silent Night-singing chorus) the last baby to sleep.


Me: So were you able to get any help, my godfather?

Toadsworth: I'm afraid it's no use. My bank account is clean out, and when I tried going door-to-door around Videoville for money they all just shut the door. Didn't even respond, they did. Not even a look of sympathy. They've all forgotten what Christmas spirit is supposed to be like.

: *sigh* If only......if only :daffy: hadn't banned the parties and in turn destroyed all Toontown last Christmas. We would not be so desperate, and these orphans wouldn't be starving........they deserve better.

: Well, it's almost twelve. Let us go to the private chapel for Midnight Mass.

Me: At least we four still remember......the true meaning of Christmas.

In order, with first, Toadsworth second, third, and me fourth, we all walk solemnly to the castle chapel. Meanwhile, :daffy: is crying.

:bugs2:: Now do you see why these parties are so important? They're not just a way for toons to blow off steam and ruin my mansion, but also an irreplaceable source of funding for the care of all these human orphans.

:daffy: (wiping his tears): *sniff* *sob* Surely there are video game characters who care, are there? It just doesn't seem particularly realistic that NOBODY except for Toadsworth wants to donate.

:bugs2:: I promise you, :daffy:, that this is what will happen if you do not reinstate the parties. In fact, regarding your question earlier about whether or not you're still alive.....well, there's one last thing I must show you.

The graveyard scene will be tomorrow.

The Dogfather/Toadette

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The nail in the coffin
« Reply #29 on: December 22, 2014, 01:44:22 pm »
The background fades to the dark, miserable Toontown Cemetery. Strangely, given what the rest of Toontown looks like, there aren't toon body parts scattered all over.

:daffy: (teeth chattering): Oh no......don't tell me this is going to be like the actual "Christmas Carol" in which some poor kid died!

:bugs2:: Luckily for you, doc, it wasn't :sniff: like what a preliminary scene in one of ParamountCartoons's promos for this story implied. It was someone else......who was explicitly shown to have died in those promos.

:daffy:: You don't mean.....but wait!! I thought we worked for a company in which toons can't die! I mean, most of the toons that died under the Great Pumpkin came back, didn't they? Which, again, shows the big flaw in this future, with all the body parts everywhere!!

:bugs2:: Eh, there's no denying it any more, doc. This future, if it comes to pass, is REAL. The problem, :daffy:, is that you're such an egomaniac that you don't want to feel guilt, or even empathy. Now......take a look at this grave right here. *point*

:daffy: strains to look, but he can see only vaguely that the gravestone is quite elaborate.

But then, to the WB thunder sound, lightning flashes, and for a few seconds :daffy: can see the following:


Here Lies
THE DOGFATHER
Forever reviled by nearly all, but sorely missed by Princess Peach and her Toadish children

:daffy: does a horrified take!

:daffy:: Th-that's impossible!!!! That security laser wasn't intended to be fatal, and surely a slingshot shouldn't have killed him either!!

:bugs2:: You've forgotten, :daffy:, that the Dogfadduh was old and weak, not to mention a two-time heart attack survivor. His bones were so brittle that the Japanese Beetle could've broken them.

Since he was resting in Videoville, he did not die from the big apocalypse.....instead, after two months of being in a coma, he died on Valentine's Day. Princess Peach gave him an official royal funeral, as one last way of showing how some people DID care about him....it was the last grand thing she did, since by that time she was already losing money due to the orphanage expenses.

:daffy:: My goodness.........it's bad enough that I'm apparently indirectly responsible for killing off nearly every single toon! But if I really did kill the Dogfather, then..........wait, you still haven't answered my question about what happened to me!

:bugs2:: I was just about to get to that, :daffy:....follow me.

Into the darkest corner of an already dark graveyard do :bugs2: and :daffy: go.

:bugs2:: Wait for more another lightning flash to come, and look at this gravestone here.

As :daffy: looks, yet another lightning flash comes. And he is shocked by what he sees:

Daffy Duck
Party-Ruiner, Orphan-Hater, Murderer
17 April 1937 - 24 December 2015

:daffy:: *gasp* What!!!??? But.......isn't that.....technically.....in the future...........today....? *terrified look*

:bugs2:: By pulling the plug on these parties, :daffy:, you forced the toons over to Jellystone, and in turn they all killed themselves out of the heavier amount of open space. Then you killed the Dogfadduh. You've even set , , and Toadette up for homelessness like all the orphans they're having to take care of!!

And it is then that the grave opens up, and fire rises out of it!!

:bugs2:: Your time has come, :daffy:. *in loudmouth Mel Blanc voice* Get in there!!!!

:daffy:: AAAAH!!!! Please, :bugs2:, spare me this horrible fate!!!!! Don't let me die like this!! I promise I'll be good!

:bugs2: (who clearly is not taking this seriously): Ehhhh, *chomping on carrot* will you allow me to invite people over for parties again?

:daffy:: Yes, yes, I will!!

:bugs2:: And will you take care of the Dogfadduh from now on?

:daffy:: Why not!?

:bugs2:: And will you donate to Princess Peach's orphanage regularly?

:daffy:: Yes, anything for those orphans!!!!! Now please, let me live! Don't make me end up in Heck!! Pleaaaaase....... *wobbling screen*

And with that.....:daffy: is back in his bed. Immediately he sticks up with a typical Chuck Jones double-eye!