Author Topic: An IAD Christmas Carol  (Read 10386 times)

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An IAD Christmas Carol
« on: November 30, 2014, 09:17:49 am »
*Three Note Eric Siday synth tune playing*

IAD presents the program in Ultra High-Definition!


The Corporation for Flavored Water Foundation, representing the bottlers of clear, fruit flavored bottled water for a healthier lifestyle proudly present ...........

An IAD Christmas Carol

Starring Daffy Duck as the modern day Scrooge

Directed by Chuck Jones and Bill Melendez

Music by Milt Frankyln and Winston Sharples

Narration by Jackson Beck as "Buzzy"

Fade out.

 :buzzy: We begin our tale as Bugs and Daffy were planning a Christmas party.....but, ohhh, things weren't going well for  :daffy:

 :daffy: Look buster, we had to deal with multiple brawls, a Toontown jewel heist, and most importantly a Pumpkin that was as villianous as the 1959 version of Malefeicent. That Halloween was with death and destruction and death! CAN'T WE JUST TAKE ONE %$&$# break from inviting toons?

 :daffy:  Humbug, Christmas is nothing more than a Christianized-pagan holiday! Sooooooooo.............

 :buzzy: Daffy then ripped and shredded the invitations and the invite list and threw the pieces into the fireplace

 :bugs2: DAFFY! Now look what you've done! Now you're leaving them cold and alone! Remember when you cried during Linus' speech?

 :daffy: I've learned from my mistakes with these parties, and being kind on Christmas when everyone misbehaves is just sick! I'm going to sleep for the winter until after Easter, so just NEVER INVITE ANYONE. In fact I got a 24-hour security system to get rid of people who want to sneak in or drop by

 :buzzy: Daffy got ready for bed and took his secret stash of Chip an' Dale's hibernation pills on a big bed and slept on sound asleep. Little did he know what frighful things were going to happen to him!

Writer's note: Do not have anyone drop by. No subplots, no nothing. This will be straightforward,  Daffy will be visited by mulitple ghosts of past, recent past, present and future. For now, we'll only do flashbacks.......then you could be a little more creative. Please King Delbert, try not to include Sailor Moon into this if you can, maybe a quick story in one of the flashbacks.

« Last Edit: November 30, 2014, 09:21:31 am by ParamountCartoons »

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2014, 01:27:52 pm »
:bugs2:: Eh, *chomping on a carrot* I think I should play a little prank on him, docs. Just to set an example for writers other than the Dogfather and Toadette.

:bugs2: dresses in a sheet. Then, in :daffy:'s bedroom, he puts on a record with this music.

:daffy: (waking up): Wh-what's going on!?

:daffy: looks around the room. He looks at his candle, which functions as a sort of nightlight......go out.

:daffy:: Yipe! *teeth-chattering to the WB teeth-chatter*

:bugs2:-in-a-sheet creeps ever slowly up his bed.......

:bugs2:: Ooooooh.......ooooooooh.........

:daffy:: *gasp* Who............who are you!?

:bugs2: (in a ghostly voice): I am the ghost of recent paaaast! Iiiiiii am here to punish you for not inviting toons over to this mansioooon!!!

:daffy::No! Please, I'll do anything!! Stop this torment, o spirit, and don't let three other ghosts come either!

:bugs2:: Yooooou are a hypocrite, :daffy:! You are angry at how other toons have caused chaos during these parties, when you, TOO, have caused ruin and destruction!!! Remember what you did two days after Thanksgiving.......

Cue a flashback. :daffy: is carrying in a 3D TV.

:bugs2:: Eh, *chomping on a carrot* what's cookin', doc?

:daffy:: I got a 3D TV during a day-after-Black-Friday sale! Now I can watch "Attack of the Demented Santa Claus!" on 3D Blu-ray!

:bugs2:: I'm leaving to get party supplies for the Christmas party, doc.

As :bugs2: leaves, :daffy: starts to watch the movie on the 3D TV. During one particularly graphic murder scene, however, the evil Santa jumps out of the TV!

Evil Santa: Ohohohohoho!!!!

:daffy:: Sufferin' succotash! This is some really good 3D!

But the evil Santa takes out a chainsaw and saws smiling :daffy: in half. :daffy: pulls himself together, cries like in "Ali Baba Bunny", and zips under the living room table.

:daffy:: Oh d-d-d-dear! What'll :bugs2:-y boy think when he finds out that I've released a Christmas murderer!?

To make things worse, the evil Santa starts driving a 36-wheeler of nitroglycerin towards :daffy:!

Demented Santa: Ho ho ho!! Merry Day-after-Black Friday!!

Cut to a shot of :bugs2:'s mansion.....exploding to bits!!!! When the smoke clears, all that's left is a burnt :daffy: and a bunch of rubble, not to mention a telephone.

:bugs2: (as the ghost): What you did next, though, was even worrrrse...and shows the utter contempt you have for other toons!!!

:daffy: (back in the flashback, looking at something on the ground): What the—is that.....

:daffy: takes the object, which turns out to be (in a John K.-esque closeup) a rotten, decomposing duckling corpse with flies around it! It's yellow with green wings and a green back and a green neck-ring.

:daffy:: It's Yakky Doodle's corpse! I'm surprised it survived the housewrecking, burning, rebuilding, Kirby-sucking, and second rebuilding from the Thanksgiving party, and now this explosion.

Then I, Toadette, pop into the screen.

Me: For those of you who don't feel like looking back at that thread—which I'd prefer you do, seeing as how it's my magnum opus— smashed his skull just before the big brawl began.

:daffy: (offscreen in the "real" world, so to speak): Hey, what are you doing here!? I said no guests!!!

Me: Yipe! *zip out*

Then the telephone starts to ring. :daffy: answers.

:daffy:: Daffy's mansion! Who is it?

Fibber Fox: Hello, :daffy:! It's Fibber. I heard from Toadette that Yakky's corpse was in your house, and I just thought that you could—

:daffy:: Quit fibbing, Fibber!

:daffy: takes out a flamethrower and incinerates Fibber through the phone line!!!

Fibber (on the other side of the line, now nothing but ashes): Now that's just rude! At least Chopper's lost in Siberia, though.

Me (again, as Toadette): Again, folks, check back on the Thanksgiving thread for the details! *zip out*

Flash back to the present day.

:bugs2:: Nowwww you see, :daffy:, that you are no better than all the other toons that you refuse to invite!! Now let us revisit the time in which you upset Toadette and burned all those Dogfather negatives.....

:daffy: (in tears): No!!! Please, I understand! I'm a worse fibber than Fibber Fox and a cowardly jerk!! Please, spare me! *sobbing* Spaaare me!!!


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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2014, 02:03:23 pm »
 :daffy: Wait, you're not the Ghost of Christmas Near-Present, so GET LOST! (takes off  :bugs2:'s sheet).

 :bugs2: OK, but say I didn't warn you doc........

 :daffy: Man, the nerve of these writers, trying to scare me like that, trying to put this plot in a different direction. Now let me get some beauty sleep with these hibernation pills that Chip and Dale gave me.  (Gets the cap and glass of water) *Pop-pop-pop* *ice clinks* A-gulg-gulg-gulg!

 :daffy: *Ahhhh* to get some sleep, and no ghosts!

Writer's note: This is basically a retelling of "A Christmas Carol", but with slight modifications. This is going to be more serious than Bugs Bunny pulling a prank.

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2014, 03:47:02 pm »
To cut to the chase and let more flashbacks be done, let's do real ghosts now.... ;)

:buzzy:: As :daffy: slept, a strange light came up in the room.

The green light floats around the room, finally resting on :daffy:'s bed.

The light: Oooooooooooooh............

:daffy: (waking up): Now what!?

The light: Iiiiiiiiiii am the ghoooooost of the not-so-near paaaaaaast.......

:daffy:: Ah, shaddup! You're probably just :bugs2: doing some light trick to scare me again.

The light: Dooooooon't denyyyyyyyyyy........never denyyyyy........

:daffy:: In fact.....

:daffy: pulls his sheet over the mysterious light, seemingly dousing it.

:daffy:: There! Back to hibernation.

But suddenly the light shines brighter than ever!! :daffy: almost goes blind.

:daffy:: Aaack! I don't know what you're doing, :bugs2:, but this isn't funny!!

The light: Daaaaaaaffyyyy......I am not :bugs2:. I am a real ghost..........

:daffy:: Yeah, as real as Casper, who will not make a sudden cameo here due to the ban!!

The light turns bright red and :daffy: feels like he's being strangled!!

The light: He who doubts will suffer the consequences.......especially a hypocrite like you, :daffy:!

:daffy: (being strangled): Akkdadissadfakdkfl—please stop! I believe!

The light (letting go of :daffy: and turning back to green): You will be visited by three more spirits during this story......for now, I am here to show you all your horrible mistakes made during all the years before now.......

King Delbert

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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2014, 05:06:39 pm »
 :daffy:  OH YEAH??  You don't need to tell me my mistakes.  I know what they were..INVITING ALL THESE TOONS TO THIS HOUSE.  And this Thanksgiving was the final straw....Nintendo characters...anime characters???  I don't even like anime...they DESTROYED MY HOUSE AND MY DIGNITY.  Now if you don't mind......GET OUT!
Ghost: Very well...but just remember....threeeeeee mooooore ghoooooooooooosts.....
 :daffy:  Pfht...Stupid ghost...I'm not afraid of anything.
Knock Knock
 :daffy:  AHHHHHHH.... leaps to the ceiling  Who's there???
 :bugs2: doc.  May I come in?
 :daffy:  Oh, it's that rabbit.  Sure come in.
 :bugs2: Daffy, I know what I did the last time may be a little joke, but I'm serious.  You have no idea what it means for those Toons to come here and have a party.
 :daffy: Oh I know what it means.  It means that they come in and destory everything just to make me a more frustrated fowl than ever.  Sorry, but that's how I feel.
 :bugs2: But Daffy, you've got it all wrong...these Toons almost have no place to go.  No family, no hope, after all they're only Toons.
 :daffy: BAHHHH!!!!
 :bugs2: [/i]a slight pause[/i]  Now Daffy, I know you didn't like her, and I hesitate to say her name around you, but her friend still sounds very ill after Thanksgiving.  You know, when she ate Simon Bar't that funny?
 :daffy: NO!  It was DISGUSTING ACTUALLY!!!  If you like turning bad guys into sushi and eating them and have headaches after that, that's your problem.....
 :bugs2:  But Daffy, we might be able to help her...
 :daffy: Help Her?? HELP HER?? How about help ME!!  My eyelids can't take it, my heart can't take it.  NO TOONS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD....AND THAT'S...FINAL!!!!!!!!
 :bugs2: Sad face I see....he leaves
 :daffy: And where are YOU going???
 :bugs2: Because of your unwelcome-ness, Yogi Bear decided to take up some of his hibernation to give the Toons a Christmas Party there, and I'm going as well.  Part of his hibernation...think about that, Daffy.
 :daffy:  Thinkings for stupid Toons like him.  Doesn't he know anything about the need to hibernate?  Stupid bear curls up in bed
 :bugs2: At least he has a heart closes the door
Bugs is in the kitchen and writes a note.  After that he leaves to Yogi's at Jellystone Park.
 :daffy: grumbles...stupid Christmas parties...why should I let them in here....humbug....


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Short scene.....
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2014, 05:23:49 pm »

(Winston Sharples' rendition Brahm's Lullaby from "The Bored Cuckoo" that constantly plays when the cuckoo goes to bed every hour plays)

 :daffy: I really need my sleep, so here's the last hibernation pill I'm going to take. *Gulp, gulg-gulg-gulg*

*blows candle*


(Falls asleep and snoring)
« Last Edit: November 30, 2014, 05:28:31 pm by ParamountCartoons »

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Yogi's acting like it's the first season of "The Huckleberry Hound Show"
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2014, 05:52:19 pm »
At Jellystone Park, Yogi is waiting for the guests while this stock track plays. He seems quite irritated.

Yogi (ranting to Boo-Boo): Every day it's the same old thing! "Look't the bears! Look't the bears! Look't the bears!" And now these toons think they can RENT out Jellystone Park and make me the new host just because some %##@% duck thinks he can control the writers!?

Boo-Boo: Yogi, don't act that way in front of the guests! These days everybody thinks you're a happy-go-lucky guy.

Yogi: And it seems everybody's forgotten the OLD me—the Yogi who can actually be quite peeved off, who wasn't stuck in formulaic plots with Ranger Smith because the Ranger didn't even exist!!

Boo-Boo: The ranger won't like hearing that, Yogi, even if he is gone for winter break! Remember, when Kellogg's made that contract allowing you your own show, one particularly important clause was that you brighten up. After all, grouches don't make good cereal spokesmen.

Yogi: And what have I gotten in return!? A cheesy feature film where I get lovey-dovey with that greedy, fickle Cindy and have to deal with a Muttley prototype, the over-moralizing piece of #$@$# known as "Yogi's Gang", three hideous-looking made-for-TV movies that pretty much ensured Daws Butler died a horrible death, those awful 1988 revival cartoons, a gosh-awful kiddified version called "Yo Yogi", and just a few years ago a steaming live-action pile of ****!!!! I can't ****ing stand it ANYMORE!!! I want those old days back wherein I could run people down with a motor scooter with a blank look on my face!

Just then, a helicopter comes down. and Toadette come out in their outfits from "Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker" ( being the Captain, of course).

Toadette: I think you need a break, Yogi. Why don't you go take a hot bath?

Boo-Boo: The problem is that the Jellystone hot springs are quite polluted right now.

Then I pop out.

Me: There are some hot springs here in this helicopter, you bears.

Yogi: Well, I suppose I need a break anyways. The lack of hibernation is what's making me like I used to be. Hey-hey-hey!

Yogi and Boo-Boo climb onto the helicopter. The sound of them "ahhh"-ing is heard.

Toadette: Toad and I will be taking over hosting duties at this particular party for now. We'll promote "Captain Toad" while we're at it!

: Wait, then shouldn't I be the main host? I'm the Captain, after all!

Toadette: And I'm the Captainess!

:buzzy:: I still think we should be focusin' on the main plot, y'know, with the ghosts visiting :daffy:.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2014, 09:39:41 pm by The Dogfather »

Mister Bighead

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Daffy's Visit from Ancient Egypt
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2014, 07:13:34 pm »
: So  :daffy: continues to sleep when suddenly...

 :buzzy: : Wait a minute... You're not the narrator!!

: I should be. I am the famous Charles Dickens, the writer of the original A Christmas Carol, which this holiday thread is based on.

 :buzzy: : You're not Charles Dickens either! Speaking of which, what the "dickens" are you supposed to be? Some kind of vulture?

: I am a famous 19th century novelist, and also a genius!

 :buzzy: : If you're the genius, then what happens next?

: An ancient Egyptian pharaoh barges in to tell  :daffy: about his horrid past.

 :buzzy: : That's a bunch of... Aw, I'm moving on with the story. As  :daffy: was sleeping, the window suddenly opens.  :daffy: wakes up with a frightened look on his face. He looks around and goes back to sleep. Suddenly, a huge sandstorm blasts through the window revealing what appears to be an ancient Egyptian ruler.

 :daffy: : Who are you, some kind of mummy? You missed the Halloween party, bub!

Pharaoh: I am King Sesostris III, ruler of Egypt of the 12th dynasty.

 :daffy: : And I'm King Daffy, ruler of the duck dynasty!

Sesostris: I'm here to take you on a trip back to the past to Ancient Egypt back when you were a poet. You wrote nice things about me.

 :daffy: : Dude, I don't write poetry! That's as crazy as some blue turkey Muppet thing writing a 19th century literary classic!

Sesostris: You wrote the Cycle of Hymns. You appreciated the way I ruled all of Egypt.

 :daffy: : I have no idea what you are talking about, buster! I don't know how you broke in...

Sesostris: I have been dead for so long. I am now back from my mummification to warn you about your new attitude towards others.

 :daffy: : And what do you have to do with Christmas?

Sesostris: Well, it's a... Aw, nuts! Mister Bighead got his history essay and this party thread mixed up!

 :daffy: : Well, I hope his professor passes him. An essay about me would be more interesting!

Sesostris: Well, I gotta go!

Sesostris III transforms back into a sandstorm and leaves the house.

 :daffy: : That was definitely a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment!

 :buzzy: : Wow, ! I guess you were right about the Egyptian guy!

: So  :daffy: closes the window and goes back to bed. He fluffs his pillow and he tucks himself in. Suddenly, a strange light comes into the room.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2014, 09:46:35 am by Mister Bighead »
Happy Holidays, everyone!

Mister Bighead

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The Ghost of Christmas Past
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2014, 09:44:47 am »
 :daffy: : Now cut that out! I'm trying to sleep.

 :buzzy: : The light comes closer and it turns out to be the spirit of a little girl.

 :daffy: : Now who are you supposed to be? Don't you know I'm not allowing anybody to these parties?

 :audrey: : I am not a mortal being, I am a spirit. I am the spirit of Christmas Past.

 :daffy: : Now, where have I seen this before?

 :audrey: : I am here to embark you on a journey to your past.

 :daffy: : No, I'm not doing any of this time-travel hoo-doo!

 :audrey: : Grab my robe, and I will take you on a journey to your past.

 :daffy: : But what if I fall? And besides, I'm afraid of heights!

 :audrey: : I thought you were a duck, and you could fly.

 :daffy: : Oh yeah! Okay, I'll grab your robe. Let's get this over with!

 :buzzy::daffy: grab's  :audrey: 's robe, and then he becomes a spirit too. The two leap from the window and take a magical flight over Toontown.

 :audrey: : We are headed to August 15, 1996. That's the date when Jon Cooke's Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies website began.

 :daffy: : I remember! That website was the basis of Golden Age Cartoons. In fact, it's still up!

 :buzzy::audrey: and  :daffy: enter a bright light in the middle of the sky. After they entered, the light disappears. This light was a portal to August 15, 1996.

: Here's a fun fact: Members attempted to do a retelling of A Christmas Carol on the old GAC forums. Check it out:
« Last Edit: December 01, 2014, 09:51:06 am by Mister Bighead »
Happy Holidays, everyone!


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Re: An IAD Christmas Carol
« Reply #9 on: December 01, 2014, 02:48:50 pm »
1996  :daffy: : Animaniacs was a rerun, and we BARELY got to win on "Space Jam"! But hey, I'm still popular and they haven't forgotten about me for now! Woo-hoo-woo-woo-hoo!

 Present :daffy: Hey at least they still show Looney Tunes on Cartoon Network!

 :audrey: And look what those USENET groups wrote:

**************************DAFFY'S 1996 SPACE JAM POOL PARTY**************************


*Cut to present Daffy and Ghost of Christmas Past*

 :daffy: Why can't I see the text?
 :audrey: Some troll said un-PC stuff like it was one of my old cartoons, and everyone yanked off their dial-up modems in anger

 :daffy: Nooooooooo! Where's the respect ?????
 :audrey: Now are you learning? You still have a long way to go before you learn......
 :audrey: Let's go back to December 6th, 1993, when you reluctantly watched "Animaniacs" on weekday afternoons on the Fox network.........

 '93 :bugs2: We've got to go, there's a bus waiting for Whitney Houston and Micheal Jackson and we're going to be in their promotional Christmas music video.......
'93  :daffy: Just after I finish Animaniacs, it's a new episode!
'93 :bugs2: The story of the CEO visited by 3 ghosts is nothing new, besides the bus is here
*Fox Kids Bumper Plays* And now back to our show.......
Little Drummer Warners comes on...........
'93  :daffy: gets teary eyed
SpongeBob Narrator: One Segment Later.....
(Depsite what my signature says I used this for comedic effect)
 '93 :daffy: Ahhhhwaahhhhhhh! (cries) We missed our bus because of that beautiful story of three Bosko-like creatures playing the drums for Jesus! Now I'm going to cry at The Grinch, Charlie Brown and Little Drummer Boy this year! (cries)
 :bugs2: That's what Christmas is observed for, Daffy Duck!

 :audrey: Just because people claim Pagans invented the holiday doesn't mean it's why we celebrate it today......December 25th was a conicdence I believe.

 :daffy: Yeah, but a Christmas with peace on earth and goodwill towards men isn't realistic for different cultures! And besides what's good about being good when everyone in the party is annoying?

 :audrey: DAFFY! Let's take you back to the night of December 9th 1965 on your Aunt Ducky's living room with color TV, there's something you should see

Writer's note: In this flashback, Daffy is watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" for the first time....

The Dogfather/Toadette

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Keep in mind the horrible things Daffy was doing in 1965....
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2014, 06:34:25 pm »
:daffy: and :audrey: arrive just as 1965 :daffy: enters the house.

'65 :daffy:: Ah, here's to a year of being borderline evil at the WB studio! But that :speedy: keeps on making sure I lose out!

Suddenly, a shadow covers the entrance room. It is his giant Aunt Ducky.

'65 :daffy: (suddenly with a look of horror on his face and sweating, certainly more expressive than any :daffy: cartoons in 1965): Oh, good—good evening, Auntie!

Aunt Ducky (off-screen): I've suffered through every single one of your cartoons this year, nephew..........I'm ashamed. I thought you were a better person than to go around whipping mice, forcing :speedy: and his companions to watch you use a well while they die of thirst, shooting at :speedy: instead of a pesky crow, and trying to ruin :speedy:'s birthday!!!

'65 :daffy: (in tears and on his knees): Please, Auntie, forgive me! It's not like I enjoy being that way!

Aunt Ducky: You've been a bad duck this year, :daffy:! Now you're going to sit down with me in the living room and learn the true meaning of Christmas!

A giant yellow hand grabs :daffy: and takes him into the living room, sitting him down on the couch in front of the color TV. Cue the famous CBS in Color logo, followed by the original opening of "A Charlie Brown Christmas".

:buzzy:: Twenty minutes later....

The TV is now playing the ending of "A Charlie Brown Christmas", where the kids are singing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing". Both '65 :daffy: and current :daffy: are crying.

'65 :daffy:: That was beautiful!! Why was I so mean this year!?

:audrey:: Don't you see, :daffy:? Christmas is not about the presents, or toys or plays. As much as some people hate to admit it, it's the birth of our Saviour.

Cue an audience of toons watching the events from a TV in Jellystone Park (where the temporary party is, after all) rolling their eyes. They include :fudd:, :coolcat:, :coyote:, :foghorn:, :tom:, :jerry:, :pink:, :yosemite:, :scrooge:, :marvin:, :dodo:, and even Yogi.

Toadette (the co-host of the Jellystone party, remember): Ah, roll your eyes all you want! :audrey:'s right.

Back to the story....

:daffy:: Well, *sniffs* maybe you're right. But that still doesn't mean I'm letting the toons come back to :bugs2:'s mansion!!

:audrey:: This is going to be harder than I thought....
Here's something I'll probably be doing every once in a while. It's called Toadette's Animated Musings, and it'll feature something related to animation, whether a discussion or just something worth checking out, like in this case. And it's hosted by yours truly, Toadette!

Cue me-self sitting comfortably in front of a warm fireplace in the special animation screening room of Princess Peach's castle, in me usual outfit. (Just like this!) I have a plate of Christmas cookies (from my Princely (or is that Princessly?) mother) next to me.

Me: For the first installment of what I hope to be a re-recurring segment, I'd like to show you a bunch of Famous Studios model sheets that Thad Komorowski uploaded recently. This goes out especially to you, ParamountCartoons. Take a look here!
« Last Edit: December 01, 2014, 07:21:56 pm by The Dogfather »


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Writer's room dillemma
« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2014, 07:48:10 pm »
In the writer's room

ParamountCartoons: How do we continue this story? Where else in the past does  :daffy: visit? We already did the 60s, how about we do 1937 during one of Leon's Christmas Parties

Toadette: Isn't that where  :porky: swore?

ParamountCartoons: else are we going to finish this party in less than a month? And besides, doesn't Mister Bighead get his holiday off from Conglom-O?

The Dogfather/Toadette

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« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2014, 08:22:04 pm »
Me: Actually, how about allowing subplots and throwaway gags? Not to mention the Sailor Scouts? Frankly, that caveat of yours in the first post came after Delbert had already planned quite a few out, and he was really peed off.

*crickets chirping*

Me: Never mind. I don't think you'll be budging.
:audrey:: Toadette's sick of not being able to write what she wants, :daffy:. So she's going to be taking out her anger on you by making you relive your worst moments. It's your fault, after all!

So :audrey: takes :daffy: back to the filming of "Rabbit Seasoning".

Chuck Jones: Aaaand action!

'52 :bugs2:: Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?

'52 :daffy:: Shoot me now!!

Cue :fudd: firing at :daffy: and the latter being left with a messed-up beak.

Chuck Jones: CUT! You're not supposed to say that line that early, :daffy:.

'52 :daffy:: Look, Mr. Jones, if we're going to be rehearsing this over and over again until I get Maltese's lines right, then can't you use fake guns instead of shooting me!?

'52 :bugs2:: You mean you don't want to be on the camera, doc?

'52 :daffy:: No, stupid! I want to be on the camera! So shoot me now!!

And of course you know, :fudd: fires at him (and disarranges his beak) again.

Chuck Jones: You know, :daffy:, it's no wonder you serve to accent all the human frailties and vanities and conceits. But you're funny doing it.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2014, 08:26:49 pm by Toadette »


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Skeletons in the GAC closet
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2014, 04:21:17 pm »
 :audrey: But here's a time where you were REALLY happy

 :buzzy: At the Warner Bros. cartoon studio in 1937......

'37  :daffy: It's really neat for Leon to throw a Christmas Party with all of the animators! Hoo-hoo-hoo-woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

 :daffy: Why , I was so happy for everyone to act goofy! We got to do gags and watch a hillarious gag reel they put together! I was laughing my guts off!

 :audrey: So will you change your ways and invite everyone?

 :daffy: Listen buster, it was a "good" goofy when Leon and all the great directors were around! Now you have writers who can do whatever the heck they want! Bah, phooey those writers can get too out of hand! Remember what happened several Thanksgivings ago?

:bugs2:: He's not hiding in dis stove!

:gandy:: Well he's not hiding in the stove, seargent!

Sourpuss: Oh so he's hidin' in the stove!

:bugs2:: Look would I toin on da gas if he was in dere?

Sourpuss: You might, rabbit, ya might!

:bugs2:: And would I throw in a lighted match?
[oven explodes]

[A black-faced Fred walks out]

Fred: [in Rochester voice] My oh my! Tattletale gray!

Sourpuss: All right, let's take him into custody!

:gandy:: Mmm, something smells good sarge! Let's stay for dinner

 :daffy: And let's not forget this terrible "Charlie Brown Christmas"


Postby Der Captain » Sun Dec 20, 2009 10:23 pm
(BUT WAIT!! What about Charlie Brown? - We see our hero standing out in the snow.)

CHARLIE: Another Christmas is here and I'm depressed. The GAC party hated my Christmas fish.

LUCY: Wait a minute, Charlie Brown. We think your fish is beautiful and we decorated it with lights from Snoopy's doghouse. Look.

CHARLIE: Gee, that's nice. But I'm still a failure. I ruined the party and all I got as a present was a box of rocks.

LINUS: Charlie Brown, that's not what Christmas is all about. You forgot about the greatest gift of all.

CHARLIE: You mean.... (Linus hands Charlie Brown his present. It's a video game.)

WHOLE PEANUTS GANG: Yes! Grand Theft Auto!!!!!

CHARLIE: Wow! Grand Theft Auto is the coolest video game ever!

LINUS: Yes, it is, Charlie Brown. Yes, it is. (the whole gang sings to the tune of Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song".)

GANG: Grand Theft Auto lets you open fire,
and pretend you're a gangster on the run.
Hang out with drug lords, set fire to a pimp,
and all sorts of good clean family fun. - Let's go shoot a nun.

A drive-by and some rapid fire
will help the cops see things your way.
Blazing uzis may seem quite extreme
unless you are with the NRA.

LINUS: You play this video game with joy and pride.

LUCY: And you are wanted on three counts of homicide.

PIGPEN: And every hyper child will find release
when he robs a bank and bribes the police.

SHERMY: And so I'm offering some random thoughts.
There's something of which we're not quite sure.

SCHROEDER: As you play Grand Theft Auto and shoot up the town,
does "M" realy stand for "Mature"?

GANG: You know the hit men are on their way!

VIOLET: They stole a car and now the owner's D.O.A.!

PATTY: And every mother's child will squeal with glee,
to see a hospital blow up in 3-D!

LINUS: And so I'd like to ease the parent's fears
that their kids will grow into crooks and cheats.
As long as they're playing this video game,
at least we know they're off the streets.

GANG: Merry Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown!!!!!

 :daffy: You haven't changed my ways yet, spirit! So let me hibernate for the holiday/winter season!

(To the writers)!
« Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 04:30:33 pm by ParamountCartoons »

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« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2014, 08:24:07 pm »
:audrey:: If you won't change your ways, :daffy:, then Toadette's going to have to continue with her sadistic chain of misery. Let's take you back to December 9th, 1974. You were quite sick of how all the Golden Age toons were by this time rounded up by Fat Albert and his gang and forced into what is now the 70s Cartoon Wasteland. So you decided to confront Penry, the mayor of Toontown at this time.

'74 :daffy: is in Penry's office. (What kind of stupid name is Penry? Just did a bit of looking, and it turns out that there are real persons with at least a last name of Penry. I apologise if anybody with the surname Penry read my little comment.)

'74 :daffy:: I speak on behalf of all the other Golden Age-era toons when I say that your enclosement of us is irritable, obnoxious, and absolutely NOT "groovy"! Worst of all, you've even forced the original versions of Huck, Yogi, Quick Draw, and all the other early Hanna-Barbera characters in there too, while your hideous-looking "sanitised" versions appear on such pure faecal matter as "Yogi's Gang"! I swear, you wretched idiots lack any sort of filial piety!

Penry (who has his chair-back turned to): Face it, you has-been mallard. We have the backing of the network execs, and we make lots of money off of our bad cartoons. So show us a bit more respect......especially since I'm *spinning around* Hong Kong Phooey!!

'74 :daffy:: Oh, so you want to fight, eh!? I'll give you a fight!! *takes out a katana*

Phooey: A swordfight it is! *takes out a bigger katana*

'74 :daffy:: On second thought, how about a battleaxe!?

Phooey: Sounds fine by me! *takes out a bigger battleaxe*

'74 :daffy:: What about a MALLET!!!?

The mallet is so big that Phooey looks like an ant in comparison!

Phooey: Uh...........pass?

'74 :daffy: slams Hong Kong Phooey flat! (He deserved that. Hey-hey-hey!)

But then a whole crowd of 70s characters storms into the room!

Josie: There's the old, out-fashioned duck who smashed our fabulous, almighty leader!!

: Like, let's paint him white or rainbow!

Fat Albert: Or plaid!

Drac: Parade him through the city and pluck all his feathers out, then tar and refeather him!

At first, '74 :daffy: keeps slamming the mallet on all the ugly characters that charge toward him. But a few make it past and, after a scuffle, lift up '74 :daffy: and take him outside, and they all take turns painting him!

'74 :daffy:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! No, not the hot pink! Ack, the ugly lime green!! Anything but purple!!!!

Then they all pluck his feathers out one-by-one!

'74 :daffy:: Ow! Ooh! Ow! *slapping away 's paw* Keep your paws off, you Astro-ripoff mutt!!

In response, bites '74 :daffy:!

'74 :daffy:: Ow!!!

Then in an orgy of cruelty, the 70s characters parade '74 :daffy: throughout Toontown as the crowd (which also consists of a bunch of 70s characters that, quite frankly, I don't want to name) throws a bunch of fruits at '74 :daffy:!

:daffy: (on his knees): Please, spirit!! Make this torment stop!! I'll do anything!

:audrey:: Will you let parties be held at :bugs2:'s mansion again?

:daffy:: Anything EXCEPT that!
And now it's time for another Animated Musing with yours truly. I am sitting by the fireplace, as usual; next to me is a radio playing jazz music, along with a bowl of chicken soup.

Me: You know, folks, there's nothing like listening to jazz at night while having a bit of comfort food. *taking a sip from the bowl of soup* Do you know what makes this particular station special, though? It's none other than WBGO, a Newark-based station serving the New York City region. 88.3 FM, to be specific. Those of you who aren't New Yorkers still not convinced? Well, what if I said that one of its correspondents was none other than Thad Komorowski?

Yes, that's right; Mr. Komorowski is an occasional correspondent for the WBGO Journal, which airs every Friday night at 7:30 P.M. Eastern time. Of course, he doesn't pop up on all of them; but don't fret if you miss an edition which, as it turns out, does have him on board! For WBGO is gracious enough to put all the segments online, so that people who missed them can listen to them again.

To find Mr. Komorowski's journals, just put in the search bar "thad komorowski". Or if you're lazy, I've done the searching for you here. Among his subjects are a new Chuck Jones exhibit, a new memoir of an underrated personality at Disney, the 10th anniversary of the controversial horror film "Saw", and (most recently) an interview with famous voice actor Billy West (Stimpy!).

With the Chuck Jones report, in particular, I am quite pleased to see that my depiction of Chuck Jones as an actual film director in my previous post was confirmed (his daughter Linda talks about how Jones saw :bugs2: and :daffy: as actual co-workers, not just as animated characters). And the full Billy West interview is available online as well, as Mr. Komorowski points out in the report. (It shouldn't be too hard to find.)

So if you're looking for something to do, take a listen to Thad Komorowski's reports! And be sure to listen to the jazz music itself on WBGO!
« Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 10:08:04 pm by Toadette »