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Messages - The Dogfather/Toadette

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1
Holiday Party Threads / That's all on these old forums, Folks!
« on: January 01, 2015, 12:28:46 pm »
It seems dark and deserted in :bugs2:'s mansion, but then cue a white spotlight with :slow: sitting.

:slow:: And..................a.......................par.......triiiiidge................in.....................a..................pear............treeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

There's some clapping.....another spotlight comes on to reveal me being the clapper!

Me: I don't believe it, Slowpoke! After more than a year of singing, you finally sang the whole twelve days of Christmas! ;D

:slow:: Gracias, Toadette. Say, where did :speedy: and the other toons go? I came to Señor :bugs2:'s mansion here, only to find it was empty.

Me: They all went to Sailor Mars's mansion.

:slow:: Holy frijoles! So I missed the last party before the big shutdown of these old IAD forums.

Me: Don't worry! The Valentine's party will be on the fifteenth of January this new year, at the new IAD forums! Now I'm going to take you home. And as for you readers, I have a New Year's gift for you: Norman McLaren's strange ballet film Pas de deux!

:slow:: I just hope I didn't miss anything crazy.

:slow: walks onto my outstretched hand, and together we go off into the distance.

The following writes out in script as the variation of "Merrily We Roll Along" from "Stop! Look! and Hasten!" plays:


"Happy New Year Folks!"

2
General Discussion / Re: Happy New Year!
« on: January 01, 2015, 12:08:18 pm »
Happy New Year to you, and to all others on this forum too!

3
Holiday Party Threads / The tour-de-force of a climax
« on: December 31, 2014, 12:19:30 pm »
But right at that moment Simon Bar Sinister and Cad barge in with a ray gun that they use to drain all the Sailor Scouts' power!

: Noooooo......you're kidding....

Simon: I'm been spying on this party all this time, for those of you who are wondering. And if you won't obey my orders, Mars, then I'll just have to MAKE you obey!

Using another ray gun, Simon turns all the toons back into their gummy form! Cad uses hypnosis to get Mars to crave toons again!

Mars proceeds to pick up all the gummy toons and stuff them all into her mouth!! Cue a shot on the inside of ALL the toons hanging onto Mars's uvula.


Snooper: What a dastardly tribulation experience!!

Meanwhile, Cad locks the front door so that no one can escape. But then....

Me: Hold it right there!!

Pan over to and me in the corner!!

: You won't get away with this, not so long as we're here anyways!

I type on a typewriter, whereupon a chunk of the Rock of Gibraltar drops onto Simon Bar Sinister! Cad lifts it up.

Simon: On the contrary, I WILL get away so long as you're distracted!!

He takes out a film projector, and starts projecting the last scene of "Nelly's Folly" onto the wall. And and I zip over.

Me (tearing up): Oh, how I just love these happy endings! *sniffs*

(also crying): I know, I know!

and I sit there crying joyfully, while Simon Bar Sinister and Cad try to sneak out, intending to declare their takeover of Toontown.....except the door has been locked such that one cannot even get out from the inside!! And suddenly.....

:daffy:: AAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAHH!!!


Desperately :daffy: climbs out of Sailor Mars's mouth.....in turn, he grows back to his normal size.

:daffy:: So....*pant* *pant* a previously disabled plot device has become REenabled, Simon Bar Sinister and Cad are taking over Toontown and making Toad and Toadette cry, and worst of all, NONE OF THIS PATHETIC ****IN' PLOT HAS A TUNKET TO DO WITH NEW YEAR'S!!! Every year since 2004, THE FAECAL MATTER FLIES INTO PEOPLE'S COMPUTER SCREENS!! SOMEONE GET A BANHAMMER IN HERE, BECAUSE THIS HAS CROSSED THE LINE!!!!! I CAN'T #$%@ING STAND IT ANYMORE, I JUST CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!

Simon: Sorry, :daffy:, but yelling about it will get you nowhere. It's too—

:daffy:: LATE!? BUSHWA DOES THAT MOUTH OF YOURS SPEAK, YA LITTLE #$$% @#$@& $#@% ^%@$ SCIENTIST!! SCREW-DRIVE ALL THIS SIMON BAR SCHEMING, AND IN FACT, TIME TO **** THIS!!

And with that, :daffy: takes out a giant mallet and, to the WB clang, hits himself on the head with it, whereupon he.....

:daffy:: WOO-HOO!! WOO-HOO-HOO!! WOO!!

He proceeds to jump right onto ill Sailor Mars and ride her like a horse!

:daffy: (slapping Mars on her rear; oh, how very impolite!): HYAAH!!! HYAAAH!!! INTO THE BATTLEFIELD YOU GO, MARS!!!

He rides Mars towards Simon and Cad, who do a wild Tex Avery take and start banging on the door!!

Simon: Cad, how hard did you lock this door!?

Cad: Gee boss, you specifically said lock it well!!

Simon takes Cad and tries to break down the door using his big head.....while :daffy: takes out a machine gun and starts firing it at Simon and Cad! The finale of the overture of Wagner's Rienzi starts playing (it was heard during the final scene in "Bully for Bugs").

:daffy: (firing the machine gun): WOO-HOO!! WOO!!! WOOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!!!

Simon and Cad, unable to break the door, zip off, narrowly dodging the bullets! (The windows are the kind covered with metal bars, so no use trying to get out through those.)

:daffy: continues to give chase riding Mars, who spits out the giant lump of toons on her uvula! They all grow back to normal size.

Up the stairs do Simon, Cad, and Mars-riding :daffy: go, with the latter now in a mask and wielding a chainsaw!!

And it turns out :daffy: has several, as chainsaws ricochet past the two villains! (One of them saws Cad's hair clean off.) The woo-hooing and whooping, not to mention all the chainsaws whizzing by, becomes positively deafening, such that the ears of Simon and Cad break like glass!!!


and I have stopped crying ever since the madness began.

: So, uh, what do we do now?

Me: We need to meet with !

And with that, and I stretch-dive out the windows (you know, the ones I earlier said could not be gone through...).

Meanwhile, the wild duck chase continues as :daffy: (and Mars) now threatens Simon and Cad with an unloaded giant Swiss Army knife!

Now on the rooftop, it looks like it's over for Simon and Cad as they are about to be mutilated by a large assortment of weapons....but no matter, as they simply run down the front of the mansion! :daffy: and Mars follow, and a chase throughout Tokyo Toontown ensues.

Finally, they are at the edge of a long-fall cliff overlooking Videoville. With one jab from the giant Swiss Army knife's screwdriver, :daffy: scares Simon and Cad off the cliff!

Simon takes out his getaway propeller-stick, and, with Cad hanging on, starts to fly up; he stops to stick his tongue out at :daffy:.....

....which turns out to be a big mistake, as :daffy: uses the giant knife's scissors to cut the propeller from the stick! Once again Simon and Cad are falling.

And at the bottom of the cliff, , , and I wait with a large firework. lights it, whereupon it flies up, catching Simon and Cad who unintentionally ride it, and then down, whereupon (to Simon's and Cad's horror) it goes right into the blocked-off Dip factory!

The pointy front part goes like a dart into one of the barrels.


Simon: Phew!

But then cue a typical Harry Love explosion!! Fireworks go off destructively within the factory, breaking all the Dip barrels and splashing lots and lots of Dip onto Simon and Cad!!! (And Dip flows all over the floor, too.)

Simon and Cad: *screaming in agony*

And with that, Simon and Cad melt into a gooey puddle of ink and paint!

The camera pulls back to show , , and I looking in through a window. We turn to the screen and unfurl a banner saying:

The END
......of Simon Bar Sinister and Cad

Iris-out to "Beeeuwoop!"

More posts can still be written after this one, though.

4
TTTP In Exile / Re: We may have lost ANOTHER animation resource page
« on: December 30, 2014, 12:07:16 pm »
I'm using Firefox.

5
Holiday Party Threads / "Imagine" this scene...
« on: December 29, 2014, 06:31:05 pm »
Warning: This could be very controversial.

Mars: Say, now that I've thunk of it, where's Snoop and Blab?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
earlier that day...
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Snooper and Blabber are in their office in one of the Gaudí-esque buildings near Toontown's Pinscreen Pavillion. Blabber is vacuuming, but the vacuum is not seen.....yet.

Snooper: Ah, New Year's Eve! When we can light up firecrackers and let our nostrils take in the smoky air.....provided it's not made of sulfur, that is.

Blabber: It's also a good time to clean up in time for the new year. And luckily, Snoop, we have a Kirby-brand vacuum!

And indeed, Blab's vacuum turns out to be Kirby sucking up dust and other particles on the floor!

The telephone rings.


Snooper: Blab, turn off that sucker! *answering the phone* Snooper Detective Agency, wishing you a Happy New Year's Eve! If your party has a tasteless song by John Lennon, we'll go McCarthy and dub you Lenin!.......A 215? Sorry, we don't have time for that case, 'specially if you can only cough up $30. *hang up*

Blabber: Who was that, Snoop? And what's a 215?

Snooper: It was Usagi. And a 215 is "Magical girl sick after Thanksgiving overindulgence." *phone ringing again, with Snooper answering* Yes?.....wait, Toe Debt!? We haven't borrowed any toes.

Me (on the other side of the phone): No, Snoop, it's Toadette, as in the little adorable shroom-girl from Princess Peach's castle in Videoville!

Snooper: Ah, me favorite toe-debted spore kid!

Me: Listen, you and the others need to get out of the office quick! They're coming.....

Snooper: Wait, you don't mean—

And just then, the office door is kicked down! Cue a bunch of hippies!

Hippies: You're going to accept the singing of that ideal world with no religion, no countries, no property, no heaven nor heck at Times Square tonight!

Snooper: Ohcrackers, we've been de-undetec-a-ted! Quick, everybody out the window in the name of the Private Eye Defenestration Society!

Blabber: But Snoop, we're ten floors above—

Snooper: Trust me, if Toadette could survive, WE can!

And with that, Snooper, Blabber, and Kirby all butt-dive out the tenth-floor window, which had been fixed from my earlier fall. Being surrounded by a bunch of hippies is a fate worse than a ten-story fall, it seems.

6
Holiday Party Threads / Nothin' much
« on: December 29, 2014, 01:43:16 pm »
Me: Now, before I continue with the story, let me take the opportunity to fire myself from the narrator's post. ;) My attitude can best be summed up by what :buzzy: said the first time I fired him:

Quote from: Buzzy
I know I'm supposed to be narrating and all, but Toadette fired me, telling me about how she'd rather approach these parties as if they were actual animation with the readers visualizing through the descriptions.

These words have held up pretty well, and in fact I honestly regret that I partook in the practice during Thanksgiving rather than already putting an end to it then and there. I mean, think about it: would the :coyote: and :roadrunner: be NEARLY as entertaining if some narrator were telling you what was going on? What about, say, "Operation: Rabbit" with a narrator intoning in and contradicting :coyote:'s constant assertions of being a genius? That's best left to the viewer, I say! Huckleberry Hound is a different matter; even then, Huck had some neat dialogue with the narrator, who himself didn't constantly show up. Same for Tex Avery's "The Cuckoo Clock"; there, the narration served for Poe-satiring humorous effect, and only showed up at the beginning and end of the cartoon.

It depends on the situation, really. But even though these parties don't have the benefit of visuals, I still think the narration is becoming a crutch. Let's see if description can be relied on......and a local station announcer will do things like sponsor plugs. ;D
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:bugs2:: Eh, I'm not too sure about these bars. I feel a strange aurora emanating out of mine.

:daffy:: Relax, palsy ol' :bugs2:! Come to think of it, what's YOUR New Year's Resolution?

All the other toons: Yeah!

:bugs2:: Oh, my resolution? Let's put it this way: to make sure that WBA makes the new "Wabbit" revival IN-HOUSE, including layouts and cel animation!! Oh, and also to make sure the writers and directors, whoever they are, study our cartoons closely down to Freleng's timing, Jones's expressions, Tashlin's live-action sensibilities, Clampett's wackiness, and McKimson's solid drawing, not to mention the good taste in gags of Maltese, Pierce, and Foster! Not to mention that whole nonsense about "cliched anvil gags"; not like we had them in EVERY cartoon!

Huckleberry Hound: You know what my resolution is? To find a stragedy to raise money so that the WB executives can actually pay the Capitol music holders. Then people could finally enjoy the adventures of me, Pixie and Dixie and Mr. Jinks, Yogi, Quick Draw, Snoop and Blab, and Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy again!

Dixie: Hear hear!

Mr. Jinks (still shaped like a chandelier): Aha! So there you miserable meeces are! *scramble off*

Pixie: Run, Dixie! It's the attack of the feline chandelier!! *zip off*

As they run, Jinks, with a great pounce, ends up crushing those meeces to pieces due to his giant chandelier-type form!

7
TTTP In Exile / Re: Cartoon Carnival: The Documentary...on Kickstarter
« on: December 28, 2014, 08:09:08 pm »
Congratulations on being able to make almost halfway to the stretch goal, Mr. Stathes! I only wish it could have been fulfilled.

Still, I am looking forward to the completed documentary! ;D

8
Holiday Party Threads / Delayed reaction
« on: December 27, 2014, 03:38:14 pm »
:buzzy:: So the other Sailor Scouts, in wanting to make sure things were alright, y'know, nothin' suspicious goin' on—

Father Time: Hey now! I'm the narrator here.

:buzzy:: Yeah, well I've been as much ever since these IAD forums first sprang up! 'Course, I didn't come back till the big St. Patrick's-Easter thread came along.

Father Time: Look, this thread was so that Justin could do his toon-craving Mars plot. Now go back to your party festivities at the mansion, please.

:buzzy:: Well, I think we've had enough madness for this year! Gettin' sick of it, really! Frankly, I'd rather another forum fight or even a flame war break out over Jones vs. Clampett, just like in the Toonzone and GAC days.

Me (popping on-screen, still flattened from the ambulance earlier): You're both fired from the narrator's post! :mad: Sheesh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*doorbell ring*

Japanese Beetle: I'rr get it!

When he goes over, however, the door is smashed onto him as Mr. Jinks (with a policeman's hat) runs in with a broom!

Mr. Jinks: All right, you miserable toonies, hands up!! Or I'll clobber you with this brooooom of mine!!

:goofy:: Gawrsh, what's going on, Mr. Jinks?

Mr. Jinks: I just received a tip-off from, uh, Toad-Etiquette that those miserable meeces are hiding out here! Yowp finished reviewing all their cartoons on the 27th, so they've been searchin' for some abode to spend the rest of their miserable lives. And, uh, yours truly has gotten a job, as, like, a New Year's party-breakup-type policecat. So if you folks don't come forth and tell me where Pixie and Dixie are, you're all going to get it! Wood strings on your head, that is!

:bugs2:: Hmph, a broom? Is that the best you can manage? Why not something more, like, violent, like a gun?

Mr. Jinks: Bushwa! A broom is, like, my trademark! I mean, you wouldn't have Robin Hood without a bow and arrow, would you?

:bugs2: zips over and gives Mr. Jinks the gun.

Mr. Jinks: But uh, thank YOU anyways, :bugs2:! *pointing the gun at everybody* All right, you're all going to get it now! A bullet in your head, that is!

When he pulls the trigger, however, all that comes out is a small white flag that says, "Delayed Reaction: Bullet Shoots Only After Small Period of Time".

Mr. Jinks: What!? Now, uh, listen here, you gun-shy gun you! *shaking the gun and trying to empty it out on the floor* When I say shoot, I mean—

BLAM and leave a hole through Jinksie's foot!

Mr. Jinks: .....shoot.

Cue a very wild, loud-mouthed take from Jinksie.....

Mr. Jinks: YEEEEEEEEAAA
OOOOOOOOOO
OOWWWW!!!!!


....and since Mars's mansion's ceiling is so weak, the chandelier above Jinks comes down during his scream!! Yes, Jinksie is now shaped like a chandelier.

Mr. Jinks: I should stop screaming so loud. My vocal cords are, uh, sensitive to too much pressure, both in and out.

9
Holiday Party Threads / Stretch-dive fail
« on: December 26, 2014, 05:27:06 pm »
Back in the present, :bugs2: and :daffy:, the latter holding a large film reel, have arrived at the mansion.

:bugs2: (looking down on the Beetle): Eh, what's up doc?

Japanese Beetle: Wercome, :bugs2:! Wercome, :daffy:! I hope you rike Tokyo Toontown so far. What is that you ale hording, :daffy:?

:daffy:: Bittersweet revenge on that dumb shroom-girl, that's what! Thanks to the good graces of that self-proclaimed "detec-a-tive" Snooper, I have a collection of Toadette's most humiliating moments of this year! In glorious faded 16mm Eastman colour, too! And I'm going to screen it for ALL the guests to see, as payback for all the madness I've been put through this year!

:bugs2:: I'm not too sure Toadette's going to like this, :daffy:.

:daffy:: Oh, don't get your hopes down! She's not coming to this party. Besides, she's writing this scene, so surely she
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hey, who mu :red: ::) :P ted my dialogue!? And why d :pink: id it get bro :'( :twoshoes: :audrey: :barney: ken into
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The text is glitching!!
:bugs2:: I tried to warn you, doc!

:daffy:: That only makes me want to show this compilation even more! Japanese Beetle, get the projector ready!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:daffy:: Hmm, now the text is broken up properly.

The film starts to roll....there is a title card saying "Humiliating Toadette Moments: 12/28/2014", followed by Snooper (eating a banana) and me in the Private Eye office. This time, the eye is on a portrait.

Me: Gosh, Snoop, are you sure I won't dive into the ground if I mess up? I only ever did a Carlo Vinci stretch-dive once, during the Thanksgiving party, and even then my heart was racing for many minutes after.

Snooper (throwing the banana peel away): Don't hesitate, Toe-Date! You won't be seriously killed if you fail. It's very easy once you get used to it. Now watch closely.

Snoop jumps up and stretches out of the frame like a tube.

Snooper (walking back on-screen): And there's a special variation for use if you're in danger. I call it the butt-dive. Say you're being tribulated by that dastardly Playstation magic bird while refusing to let go of a Power Star. In that case, butt her in the face—

Snoop gets in this position, butting me in the process!

Snooper (still in mid-air): —and dive out!

He stretches out again.

Snooper: Now let's see you try it, my little toe-debted shroom-girl.

I end up throwing my butt right back at Snooper! (To the Jay Ward cymbal crash.) We're sent flying off-screen, crashing into a wall.

Snooper (who is worse for the wear): You overdid it with the butt-up-sticking, Toadette.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Snooper: One thing that can help for beginners is scrambling before sticking the butt up. Like this:

To the H-B/DFE wind whistle scat, Snooper scrambles, then sticks his butt up and stretches out.

Snooper: Now try it!

So I scramble, stick my butt up, and stretch out....but when I think I've succeeded at a butt-dive, I end up crashing into Snoop's desk off-screen!

The table has been completely destroyed!!


Snooper: Hmm, looks like we're going to have to work on stopping. Just rememememember, Toadette: a Vinci stretch-dive gives you more power than one of Bob's homemade Blab-ombs—I mean, Blab's homemade Bob-ombs! Those are three times weaker than regular Bob-ombs, you know!

Me (wearied up): Somehow it sounds like I'm involved in a terrorist plot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Snooper: Now, with any stretch-dive, you might keep zipping along like a comet of brush-strokes until you destruct yourself on something. I know it happened to Blab once. So it's important that you know how to regain your footing lest you potentially Apfel a strudel.

Once again, Snooper stretches off-camera. This time, there's a shot of him putting his feet down and putting on the brakes.

Snooper: Of course, if you want to keep going, you can also run once your feet are put down. Bear in mind, though, once you get that bear out of your mind, that is, you'll end up running twice as fast as you normally would. Very unstable, if you query me.

Me: I'll see what'll happen.

I scramble and do a butt-dive.....then I put my feet down and start running rapidly!

I run on the walls, on the ceiling, and literally leave a trail of fire behind me! (Luckily, the fire is weak such that it goes out after a few seconds.)


Me: Snooooooop!! How do I stooooop!?

Snooper: Try skidding!!

So I skid......

right into the banana peel Snoop threw from earlier! I end up sliding right out the window (breaking it in the process), and fall ten floors (to the WB falling sound) as Snoop looks.

The impact is such that the screen shakes! A solo bugle of "Taps" starts playing in the background.


Snooper: You know, *sniff* she wasn't such a bad kid. How wrong I was that she wouldn't be seriously killed while attempting to do this!

Me (calling out): Snoop! Don't worry! I'm not dead!

Snooper: Even now, I can hear her high-pitched voice. Very annoying, perhaps, but invariably nostalgic nonetheless.

Me: Don't call my voice annoying, Snoop!

Snooper: *gasp, look down at the broken window* Toadette! Thank goodness you're alive!! I was worried Princess Peach would sue me for Princess's-daughtericide!

Me (climbing out of a crater shaped like my falling body, and somehow not even slightly ruffled, let alone injured): Oh, you can expect a lawsuit from her for uncleanliness! ;) You should pay more attention to your banana peels.

At that moment, though, a rushing ambulance runs me over! Flattened am I on the ground.

Me: And maybe I should pay more attention to my own welfare........
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:daffy: is laughing heartily, only to find that the reel ends there.

:daffy:: Boo! Hiss! I wanted to see the moment when Wingo kidnapped Toadette because she refused to let go of that Power Star!

:bugs2:: What is wrong with you, :daffy:!? You should be grateful that Toadette's even alive after that fall, let alone imbued with fall survival powers like :coyote:!

:daffy:: Hmm, I wasn't aware that color-changing leaves and chilly weather could kill anybody.

:bugs2:: And as for the other humiliating moments, eh! *chomping on a carrot* I think it makes sense that Snooper would only own this reel. Ask Nintendo for that whole Wingo insanity.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try to do a Vinci stretch-dive, much less a butt-dive, in real-life.

10
Holiday Party Threads / The GAC-IAD 10th Anniversary New Year's Wrap Party
« on: December 26, 2014, 11:05:30 am »
Open on Sailor Mars's mansion in Tokyo Toontown. Fade to the interior, where the Japanese Beetle is the first guest, and effectively the only one in the house; Mars is currently bedridden. As he celebrates Christmas on both 25 December and 7 January (which is 25 December according to the Julian calendar—the more Christmas, the happier!), he is hanging up Christmas decorations.

Japanese Beetle: Fol we need a rittle Christmas......light this very minute......Candres at the window....Carols at the spinnet, yes—*looking at the fourth wall* Ah, I just cannot wait fol Varentine's Day! I have been placticing arrow-shooting. Rike this!

An arrow goes out from the Beetle's bow outside. To a backwards WB ricochet and the Jay Ward explosion....

An off-screen voice: HEY! I spent thirty years making this mecha!

Whoever the person is, he throws a wrench at the Japanese Beetle, which hits his head to the WB "Clang!".

Japanese Beetle (rubbing his head): Ooh! Very dishonorabre hit! He should consider himself rucky that that wasn't actual Cupid arrow.

The doorbell rings.

Japanese Beetle: Mole guests! *zip out*

When he opens the door, though, instead of guests a dirty hand swats him into the ground (to a different variation of the WB whack) with a robot arm! The hand slams the door.

Japanese Beetle (flattened): Oh! That wasn't just any lobot palt. That was "Super Special Beetle-Destroyer with a Flyswatter on Top!" Onry most enthusiastic mecha-builders use it—and as far as I know, there are no mecha anime with that arm.

11
TTTP In Exile / Re: RIP Martha Sigall
« on: December 25, 2014, 04:09:32 pm »
As I said earlier, I find that people seem to go on Cartoon Research and other such blogs rather than bringing their discussions here.

12
Holiday Party Threads / Ending with bad taste
« on: December 25, 2014, 12:20:53 am »
Inside, most of everybody is drinking cocoa over a PK Thunder-powered fireplace. The Stollen has been stolen into everybody's stomachs. In the kitchen....

 :daffy: : I heard your real-life supervisor was unable to get Looney Tunes Platinum Collections 1 and 2, so here you go, Toadette!

Me: Why, thank you! Oh, if only I—or Toontown and Videoville in general—were as real as these parties would have people thinking. And how went your Stollen?

 :daffy: : Certainly it got a better reception than that fish. Look, 's getting sick from that horribleness!

Gagging, turns green, purple, and plaid before doing a dramatic death scene!

: Oh no, I killed him! Not even my dog can stand that dumb fish! AUUGGGHH!! *runs off in frustration*

Me: Hmmmmm.....maybe needs a little love, is all.

I stand up 's corpse and start decorating it with a bunch of ornaments and lights from a box nearby, whereupon he starts growing coniferous branches.

Me (to the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"): Ooh, ooh ooooooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, ooh, ooh oooooooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh....

As I do this, however, comes to and notices what has happened to him and what I am doing!

(very angry): RAAAAASGDHAGRHRHRHAAAHGGH—

In a drybrushed whirl, transfers all the ornaments and lights and tree branches to me! Such it is that I'm the Christmas tree now, and adds on a star on top of my pileus.

(continuing from where I left off): Ooh, ooh ooooooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh....(continues)

Me: I don't know what I was thinking with this.

(upset at how I'm speaking): *ranting in Melendez-speak*

Me: Fine, I'll be quiet!

So continues his vocalising of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".

Me (whispering to you readers on the other side of the fourth wall): Anyways, for my final Animated Musing for this season—if you folks are looking for a different special about the TRUE true meaning of Christmas besides "A Charlie Brown Christmas", I would highly recommend Chuck Jones's "A Very Merry Cricket", from 1973, as an alternative.

It is distinctly more visual in its communication of how commercialism and the problems of human pettiness have polluted the season, along with, naturally, the meaning of Christmas. Despite the fact that it's a sequel to "The Cricket in Times Square", it is more personal of a film than Jones's famous Grinch.

The way I see it, there are two main reasons why this unique cartoon has not achieved the fame of the Grinch. One is elaborated upon in Thad Komorowski's most recent WBGO podcast—the Grinch was made at a time when Christmas specials were a relatively new thing, and the makers of the specials—whether Rankin-Bass, Bill Melendez, or Chuck Jones—were encouraged to put as much effort in as possible, as they did not know whether they would be able to make such specials again. In contrast, by 1973 it seems that Christmas specials, even those talking about the meaning of the season, were very commonplace, and nearly all the studios had gotten into the act.

The other reason, and one that many serious critics might point out, is that, as mentioned above, it is a very personal film, made clearly according to Jones's whims. Said critics might take it further and call it Jones's by-this-time-unrestrained pretentious ego at work, and I would not entirely object to that. I might even call it Jones trying to prove that quality animation CAN be done on television, and that one does not need monologues to express the true meaning of Christmas.

If one looks at how Jones was railing against "illustrated radio" and the lack of actual animation in his later years, one can pinpoint what he was going for with this special. Drawings and/or inanimate things come to life, after all, are the basic root of animation. However, it seems that Jones took it a little too far with the striking visuals and overall artiness, at least too far to appeal to a general audience, so to speak.

The results are, nonetheless, quite charming; the final sequence, in particular, which looks like something that could have come from the National Film Board of Canada, is surely one of the greatest things Jones ever did in his post-WB years. For those of you who haven't seen it, I would recommend you check it out at least once!

Now that it's officially Christmas Day by IAD time, I think now—midnight—would be a good time to finish this story. We've had a long, wonderful year of parties for this 10th anniversary of the independent GAC forums—so join us on the 26th, when Sailor Mars's mansion will host the GAC-IAD 10th Anniversary New Year's Wrap Party! It'll be one last romp on these old IAD forums before the move occurs. See you then, and Happy Christmas! ;)

The camera pulls back to reveal all the toons (and video game characters) singing the last lines of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" around me! The following text fades in above me, and I look up at it:

Happy Christmas from the IAD Forums!

With one final wink from me ;) , fade out.

13
Holiday Party Threads / The stolen Stollen
« on: December 24, 2014, 12:09:32 pm »
Back at the mansion...

:bugs2:: Well, we're lucky that the fake Santa this year was Simon Bar Sinister and not the Grinch's cousin peddling some provocative band!

:daffy:: Oh, and I almost forgot! I baked a German Christmas fruitcake, called Stollen. The worst thing you could do today is NOT eat it!

So all the toons are gathered around the large kitchen table, with a covered platter in the center. When :daffy: opens it, however, he does a wild take....the cake is missing!!

:daffy:: Where is it!? I spent three hours making this pure unadulterated deliciousness, and now it's missing!! My Stollen has been stolen!! *turning to everybody with a suspicious face* All right, you depraved cookies, which one of you ate it!?

Cookie (:buddy:'s wife): Don't blame me, :daffy:! Much less call me depraved!

Rudolph: I just arrived!

:bugs2:: Eh, not me, doc!

Hubie: Gee, if Boit and I took it, then why aren't our stomachs full?

:mickey:: Gosh, not me!

:goofy:: I already fail at making cakes!

:dodo:: Not my zany self! I have a distaste for too much sweetness!

:daffy:: Oh, really? Well what about YOU, Tom and Jerry!?

:porky:: D-d-d-d- :daffy:, you're pointing at the mansion's p-p-p-portrai-p-p-portra-uh, pictures of Tom Stathes and Jerry Beck.

:daffy: (whose finger grows limp): .......oh, uh, silly me. :redface: I meant YOU, :tom: and :jerry:!

:tom: and :jerry:, surprised, shrug in unknowing.

:daffy:: Hmmm, not speaking, eh?

:bugs2: (at the fourth wall): You know, folks, I'm getting rather tired of this intrigue.

Meanwhile, Baby Bowser is flying on his machine as seen in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.

Baby Bowser: Eee-hee-hee-hee-hee! Boy, when the guys at the Videoville Villain Party see this *holding up the Stollen* cake I brought back, I'll finally be accepted as a villain of my own!

But suddenly :bugs: pops out from under, holding a mistletoe!

:bugs:: Kiss me, my beloved turtle!! *trying to smooch*

Under the distraction, the flying machine starts to go in for a crash landing!

Baby Bowser (trying to let go): Ow—quit it!! I thought Sogturtle was your favorite turtle!! Stop—

The machine crash-lands in front of 's castle. , who is tending to the orphans, comes out.

: Now who would, or why would anyone, create this much noise on Christmas? *notices the turned-over machine and the hearts coming out of it* Hmmmm....

goes over and, with all her strength, lifts over the machine. Luckily, the sight is less disturbing than she thought it would be.....:bugs: is merely still trying to smooch Baby Bowser.

Baby Bowser: Oh, quit it! Peach, you gotta help me here!!

(smiling while picking up the stolen Stollen): Oh, I'll help you........bring back this Stollen you stole! It's Christmas; if there's ONE day that you should not steal on, it's this one!

Later, 's carriage pulls up to :bugs2:'s mansion; comes out with the cake.

She opens the door to find :daffy: whipping a :speedy: doll!!


:daffy:: Come on, you mouse! *whip* If you're so fast at running, *whip* then why aren't you a fast talker!? *whip*

:speedy: (to the fourth wall): He's a loco duck, all right. But I still like him.

: Stop, :daffy:! I have the missing Stollen here. Baby Bowser pilfered it.

:daffy: (taking the Stollen): Oh, thank you, ! By the way, I've donated to your orphanage. Toadette has the money.

Me: Here you go, mother!

: Well, thank YOU, sir! ;D Surely you wouldn't mind if I stuck around a bit, would you? Toadsworth is caring for the orphans for me.

:bugs2:: Eh, why not? We're pretty much just trying to blow off steam here after the big Carol.

:dodo:: Yeah, like THIS!!

:dodo: pulls opens a black hole that starts sucking in everything!! Before any serious damage can be done, however, and indeed just as the Stollen is about to be stolen away forever, :bugs2: plugs the hole up with a giant cork.

:bugs2: (gesturing with his fingers): A-bup-bup-bup! NOT like that.

14
Holiday Party Threads / Brainwashed?
« on: December 23, 2014, 10:23:09 pm »
:bugs2:: Now wait just a minute, bub! If Rudolph is so forgotten, then how come he's still on CBS? Why is there a Blu-ray of his special out? And most importantly, why is Gene Autry's cover of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer playing on the radio as Toadette types this!?

Elsa: That's all irrelevant. What matters is that I am representative of pretty much the most popular merchandise around! I'll go down in history! But first......time for you all to die!

Just as Elsa is winding up her ice powers, however, the door is slammed right onto her! In comes Frosty the Snowman.

Frosty: Happy birthday!

:daffy:: Don't you mean "Happy Christmas"? Frankfurterly, I'm not sure anyone's birthday is on Christmas Day.

Me: Well, actually, VoiceTalentBrendan's birthday is on the 26th. ;) And in real time, it's His Imperial Majesty the Emperor of Japan's birthday today. Though in Japan it's already well into the 24th, but the Japanese Beetle is notably absent nonetheless.

Rudolph: Gosh, Frosty, it sure is good to see you in cel-animated form again! That "Christmas in July" movie was.......well, I don't know WHAT Rankin-Bass was thinking!

Frosty: Anyways, I'm here to warn you guys about two other characters now owned by our current owners. Simon Bar Sinister and Cad are at it again......and here is their first new victim.

Frosty uncovers the door-slammed area, indicating that he's referring to Elsa, who is knocked out.

Then :mighty: flies in (with his "The New Adventures" design).

:mighty:: Hi, folks! It's been a while since I actually appeared, but I want to warn you that two of the folks here are phonies.

:bugs2:: Let's just cut to the chase. *begins to eye Santa*

Santa: Uh......what's up doc? Ho ho ho, I'm the real Santa!

But :bugs2: tears the mask right off, revealing Simon Bar Sinister!!

Rudolph: What!? What's going on here!? *notices Frosty edging towards the door* Wait a second, "Frosty"!

He runs in front of Frosty and, using his red nose, melts him! And guess what....he turns out to be Cad!

Simon: Drat! Foiled by a furry hero again!

Rudolph: What did you do with Santa, Simon Bar Sinister!? And what's this whole plan of yours about!?

Simon: It's elementary school, my dear Rudolph. I brainwashed Elsa so that she would hate you and "Rank-and-Base", as Mark Kausler used to call your little studio, in general. Then I locked Santa up, and disguised as him, while Cad, for whatever reason, melted Frosty and took on his appearance. From there, I would take you over to this mansion, where I had prepared Elsa to sing her little song in order to ruin your confidence and give you the idea that Disney was involved in a conspiracy to ruin your popularity!! Then she would kill all your cel-animated friends.

It was the perfect scheme, but you, Cad, had to ruin everything by barging in early when I told you to stay OUT!! Then that :mighty: tipped us off! You know what, let's ditch this joint! And take the girl! Plus, I'm deducting your salary by half for self-destructing this otherwise genius plan.

Cad: Gosh, boss!

Cad takes Elsa, and he and Simon run out.....to find that :mighty: has destroyed their getaway sleigh!

:mighty:: All right, villainous scum, you've nowhere to go!

Simon: On the contrary, I have a backup getawayer!

Simon takes out a stick with a propeller attached and, with Cad (holding Elsa) hanging on as well, flies off.

:mighty:: Hey, get back here!!

:mighty: flies off into the distance, chasing after them.

15
Holiday Party Threads / Little Audrey laughed and laughed...
« on: December 23, 2014, 05:10:04 pm »
:audrey:: Say, :bugs2:, how did you think my performance as the Ghost of Christmas Past was?

:bugs2:: Eh, you could've done with more glowing text, Little Audrey! Come to think of it, though, knowing your origins, I would love to know how you reacted to the last part of the Carol, when things went uber-depressing.

:audrey:: Oh, as usual, I just laughed and laughed! *does her trademark laugh*

As she laughs, all the toons in the mansion cover their ears in pain! :donald: goes mad!

:donald:: WAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! *takes out an aluminum Christmas tree*

:audrey: stops laughing and starts running as :donald: chases her with the fake tree!

: How could you, :donald:!? That's commericialism!

: I'm afraid that's how Christmas is like now, Charlie Brown. Even our special has been turned into a vehicle for merchandise and other such stuff.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the street with :bugs2:'s mansion, :coyote: is waiting with his boxing glove spring trap from "Beep, Beep" for :roadrunner: to come.

:roadrunner: arrives in the distance....


:roadrunner:: Beep beep!

....and :coyote: shoots and, of course, misses. Instead, the boxing glove makes it all the way to :bugs2:'s mansion.....

....where, in the meantime, :audrey: has given :donald: a good hit on the head with his aluminum tree, which is now snapped in half.


:audrey:: Wow, :donald:, at least you only got one bump! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha—

.....and the boxing glove punches her face at that moment! :audrey: is thrown back to the wall.

:bugs2:: Yeesh, are you okay, :audrey:? You've got a bad black eye there.

:audrey:: Oh, it's only one black eye! *starts laughing again*

:daffy:: You know, the original :audrey:, before Famous took her in, seemed a very cynical character. Maybe if Termite Terrace had gotten her.....

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